So. I'm reading these church talks about discipleship and it turns out that I need to be meek. Paul Woodruff has generally the same idea, but he expands it a bit and calls it reverence. (And he is totally not an apostle, even if he is a Thursday forum speaker.) But here's what Neal A. says:
Meekness does not mean tentativeness. But thoughfulness. Meekness makes room for others: (Philip. 2:3).
Among the meek there is usually more listening and less talking. [...] The meek think of more clever things to say than are said.
"Meekness--A Dimension of True Discipleship" 1983
So that's why I deleated a perfectly lovely and snarky post about Sarah Palin's children's names. Must...restrain...snarkiness. It's sometimes harder to let go of those lovely cruelties than it is to pay a hearty fast offering. Why am I generous with money and even compliments, but so willing to say all the clever things that I think? Learning to be self-censorous is a never-ended quest that started my freshman year of high school when my brothers first advised me to "keep [my] fool mouth shut."
That's not to say that I'm for keeping silent all the time, or not having opinions, even strong ones, but just sometimes you need to track the number of comments you make in a class, or the percentage of dinner conversation your voice makes, the degree to which you "make room for others."
Learning to speak was hard. Learning to shut up may be harder.