Okay, so here I give back to the Internet, but this is more of an apology to Krystian because this took longer than I meant it to be. I thought I'd do this with my 10-year-old niece when she was visiting, but it took a lot longer than I thought.
It started simply enough with three dollar store toys--two deer and a polar bear. The polar bear split nicely in two with a little effort and a pair of scissors.
Anyway, about a month of neglect later, I spray-painted the things, but it was okay because in that time our neighbors had replaced their fence! This means SCRAP WOOD! Just what I had been looking for. I also would have taken river rocks, but this is Houston, I didn't want to steal from anyone's landscape.
I cut up some fence-post ends and 2x4s with my reciprocating saw and stained them with one of those awesome stain wipes I was telling you about. Then, when they were dry, I glued my animals on.
The deer looks very handsome, but also a little like a trophy. I wonder if I should put a plaque on it.
If you're worried about the wood being heavy enough, you could always drill a hole in the bottom and weigh it down with marbles, Pinewood Derby style. Or you could just glue some washers on the back. Personally, though, I find the pine is heavy enough as is.
The bear had to be glued in two places--the bottom and the side, and the 2x4s also had to be glued in an L-shape bookend. I quite like this one, though.
Krystian says it looks like a wiener dog bear.