So it looks like I won't be going to Berkeley at least. I knew it was a long-shot, but as Nada Surf once sang in relation to dating "there's always a feeling of hurt and rejection" when a university "says [it] prefers the company of others to your exclusive company." There were something like 900 applicants for 6 positions, so really, what do I expect?
Oh well. It's probably for the best. One less choice to make.