tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47163425507601622082024-03-05T16:43:52.863-08:00Mary Versus the Trumpeting Legions of ApathyBattle forth, my friendsmlhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06897457666469917298noreply@blogger.comBlogger302125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4716342550760162208.post-81477758806229205472023-01-29T21:20:00.004-08:002023-01-29T21:23:43.917-08:00Always Winter and Rarely Christmas<p> I have a petition. Since the date of observed Christmas is arbitrary and almost certainly not the season of the actual nativity, why not change the date of Christmas to, say, Feb 1st? We could have a full two months of Christmas season without worrying about "bumping up" against Thanksgiving. And lest you worry that January holidays would get the short shrift, remember that New Years is already in the middle of the 12 Days of Christmas and it does alright for itself. We could have lights up a little longer in these long, dark nights, and more time to have parties with family and friends. You'd have plenty of time for Christmas shopping and Christmas cards. And when Christmas is over, you can get out the Valentine's decorations. </p><p>While I'm waiting for YouGov to take off on this idea, I've been reading and thinking a lot about what to do with the almost three months of winter after Christmas is over. I wouldn't say I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder, but I definitely find it a bummer that picnics and stream dips are so far away. A lot of grey days and not a lot of celebration. Others have written convincingly of some tried-and-true strategies, including from our Nordic friends. For example</p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>Dress the season</b>. You can't just wear a t-shirt under your coat and be cozy. This year I finally bought some proper snow boots--puffy, waterproof, with a sturdy sole. They have been my delight. I've also been more liberal with my long underwear: if I know I'm going to be outside for any significant length of time, I suit up before I go out. Snowpants if you're going to be in the snow, layers, a good coat and gloves. I even bought a pair of those micro-spikes for icy days. Game. Changer. All this "adequate clothing" allows you to not dread leaving the house.</li><li><b>Get out. </b>Now that you've got the gear, time to get out. I've been on a couple of hikes this month and it always surprises me how lovely it is. I confess I think of hiking as a summer activity, but with the right clothes, it's fantastic in winter, too. Usually, those snow boots do me and I don't even need spikes or snowshoes. I appreciate the winter more when it's the fluffy flakes on a mountain fir than when it is slush in the city.</li><li><b>Find a winter sport. </b>I am glad I'm getting into winter hiking, because I'm getting to the age when I'm more cautious about the conditions under which I go skiing. But skiing, downhill or Nordic, snowshoeing or even ice skating in an arena can make you more excited about winter. Even swimming at the pool and Zumba feel like winter activities because they are inside and not dependent on natural light. You will feel better if you get off the couch and out of the house and get your body moving.</li><li><b>Get cozy. </b>If you're getting out, you appreciate more when you come in. Create winter traditions indoors, too, like reading more by the fireside with a hot cup of tea. Trade out your warm-weather sheets for fuzzier stuff. Take up a cozy hobby like knitting or book binding. Me, I made a winter goal to learn how to bake bread and it's been nice to heat up my kitchen with the oven and try my hand at something technical like brioche or sourdough.</li><li><b>Look to a warmer future. </b>Some people recommend a countdown to spring, but I don't know what good that does me when it can snow in, like, May at times. But planning a trip somewhere warm, or even just starting to schedule summer adventures, can take up there in our minds. Also, you get the bonus that you can get the planning and scheduling done early. You know how some people start planning Christmas shopping in September? Why not plan your BBQ season in January?</li></ul><p>These are great ideas and I'm grateful for them. But then I thought to myself, why not just extend Christmas a little anyway?</p><p>Put down your pitchforks, I'm not talking about leaving the Christmas tree up until it's a crispy fire hazard or not taking down your inflatable Santa in the front yard. There are lots of things that I feel like I never get to fit in during the Christmas season because I'm so busy, but...and I know this is radical...<i>they aren't exclusively Christmas activities</i>! </p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>Bake treats. </b>Everyone knows that heart-shaped sugar cookies can make a comeback in February, but if you haven't sworn off sugar, you can make your special treats after Christmas, too. I was feeling a little (very little) disappointed I hadn't made gingerbread this season, but December doesn't have the monopoly on gingerbread. Just ask the little old lady, the little old man, the cow, the dog, and the fox.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMGjUFjplJhjh28GDoU-9D74Vpcm7dPNunp0oQFluaP5AtdsrvyYej0HY4RuX6spj1u9vJe6aaOdppMxso-0B9Y0DNZ_3f8Jlx5H2_XCMBbGKyNwR2QAC4uQkErM81O7w373gjqXjLY8eFGrt9V4L7C2BWWTuX3gK9npQFNbzdpcEMj_VzGq-1sA/s4032/gingerbread.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMGjUFjplJhjh28GDoU-9D74Vpcm7dPNunp0oQFluaP5AtdsrvyYej0HY4RuX6spj1u9vJe6aaOdppMxso-0B9Y0DNZ_3f8Jlx5H2_XCMBbGKyNwR2QAC4uQkErM81O7w373gjqXjLY8eFGrt9V4L7C2BWWTuX3gK9npQFNbzdpcEMj_VzGq-1sA/s320/gingerbread.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /> <br /></li><li><b>Write cards to far-flung friends and family. </b>I get it--Christmas cards are a thing. People are expecting it. They have garlands and trees set up to showcase your family picture from Shutterfly or something. But how often do you actually get to hand-write more than three words to the people you care about? Not often, that's how often! So maybe in January, after the update newsletter or glossy picture, just write a card or a letter asking how someone <i>really </i>is and being a little vulnerable with your own life? What could be more hygge than a handwritten letter to a dear friend? But it doesn't have to be a real card--you can call or drop a text to someone you'd love to catch up with and they will probably not be so busy. Speaking of...</li><li><b>Throw a party. </b>My poor niece has a birthday in December, and while I've always contemplated the present scenario, it's the party logistics that annoy her the most. Everyone always has "Grandpa's Cookie Party" or the ward party, or the work party or something every. single. weekend. It's great to have festive celebrations, but it's easy to go into social withdrawal by mid-January. It doesn't have to be a big party, or expensive: maybe you could plan a soup potluck or a "book share" where everyone brings their favorite book they read recently. It doesn't even need to <i>happen</i> right away, but planning and inviting people to a party a few weeks out can give them something to look forward to.<br /></li><li><b>Listen to seasonal music. "</b>Frosty the Snowman," "Walking in a Winter Wonderland," even "Jingle Bells" are not actually Christmas music--they're winter music! You might have to give it a couple of weeks rest from overplay, but making and listening to a playlist of seasonal-but-not-holiday music can get you in a cheerful mood about the winter months.</li><li><b>Do service. </b>I know there's the whole "reason for the season" and whatever, but sometimes I feel like holiday service is just one more thing to check off in a very hectic month. But did you know that there are<i> still needy people in January</i>? Because of the quirks of tax law, most giving campaigns hit hard in December, and it can be easier to remember to donate at that time, but after-Christmas service helps spread out the good (how many soup kitchens can accommodate everyone who wants to ladle soup on Christmas Eve?) and helps you, too. Thinking of others can get you out of a winter pity party, and some service is downright cozy. This winter, I've made flannel baby blankets for United Way of Utah County's Welcome Baby program, and it has been heckin' cozy. You could also volunteer to read with kids, clean out your pantry (why do I have so much evaporated milk?) for the food bank, or foster adorable kittens.</li></ul><p>We might not be able to keep the spirit of Christmas all year round, but maybe letting it get us through the darkest, coldest months can be a good start.<br /></p>mlhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06897457666469917298noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4716342550760162208.post-17307295508862388612022-05-07T07:11:00.005-07:002022-05-07T07:15:49.347-07:00Moms and Vets: a little rant about people who complain about Mothers Day<p>Another year and yet again more op-eds published with the somehow still surprising revelation that not everyone is/has/wants to be a picture perfect mother. I don't understand why this is still news--why is it important to say again and again how no one is/has/wants to be June Cleaver? Feels like "asked and answered."</p><p>But consider another minor holiday dedicated to a group of people who sometimes endure harrowing experiences: Veterans Day. Imagine these op-ed perspectives talking about how Veterans Day is so painful because:</p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>I wanted to be a veteran, but couldn't due to health reasons.</li><li>I thought I wanted to be a veteran, but it wasn't what I expected and now I regret it.</li><li>I don't want to be a veteran. <br /></li><li>Some veterans do terrible things. </li><li>Some veterans are lazy.</li><li>There aren't any veterans in my family.</li><li>There are veterans in my family, and some of them are not very good people. </li><li>I know some veterans who makes a really big deal out of Veterans Day, but it's exhausting for me.<br /></li><li>I didn't have the experience I wanted in the service. I thought I was going to punch Nazis, but instead I rode a desk in Georgia.</li><li>I had a really harrowing experience in the service and I feel like Veterans Day is hollow compared to what I went through.</li><li>If we really wanted to celebrate veterans, we'd give them better health care, including mental health care, instead of just having a minor holiday.</li></ul><p>The last one is true about vets and mothers, but it doesn't preclude having a day to remember them.* None of the above are excuses to not appreciate moms or vets doing the best they can, whether or not they are us, whether or not they are in our family. If Mothers Day bends you out of sorts, you can take a break from it--it's a minor holiday that no one gets off on a weekend. Or maybe we can just say "thank you for your service."</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p>*Maybe with the yearly reminder, we can open conversations about the ways society can better support them. Just not the same conversations over and over.</p><p><br /></p>mlhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06897457666469917298noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4716342550760162208.post-17668363986218392142021-04-11T22:17:00.001-07:002021-04-11T22:17:16.240-07:00Allow-parenting /or/ How I Learned to Let Go and Let Grandma<p> In the focus group on academic motherhood, the moderator asked us, "Tell me about the support network you have--who else besides you helps parent your children?" Everyone mentioned partners and a few mentioned parents, and while they were talking, I was counting on my fingers. "There are 16 people," I said, "I would be comfortable leaving my daughter with for a weekend." </p><p>Sixteen people is a lot of people, although top of that list are Lucia's grandparents, Grandma and Abuela top, bolded, and underlined. It's not just about the weekend, though. For more than a year, I've been living with my in-laws and "commuting" to my retired parents' house for work hours, largely because of the support that Grandma and Abuela are able to provide. This may be an aberration for Mary's life, but having grandmothers around are part of our <a href="https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2019/02/07/692088371/living-near-your-grandmother-has-evolutionary-benefits" target="_blank">evolutionary heritage</a>: families have long depended on the support grandmas and others give, especially for young children.</p><p>There's a word for this: alloparenting. It's a trendy idea that gets credence in the trendy books about <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Hunt-Gather-Parent-Ancient-Cultures/dp/1982149671" target="_blank">pre-Industrial parenting</a>. The reason why modern parents, and especially moms, are stressed out about having young kids is that they were never meant to care for these young kids themselves. Grandparents, aunties, cousins, older siblings, neighbors, friends, there was supposed to be a proverbial village helping out, but in our incessantly individualistic society, we've lost that village.</p><p>"But wait," the critics might reply, "we don't raise our kids alone--we have school teachers, nannies, coaches, and babysitters to take the burden off parents. We just happen to pay--directly or indirectly--for the village. What's the difference?"</p><p>That paying is a difference, and a big one, for two main reasons. </p><p>(1) <b>When you're paying for an hourly service, you expect to be getting your money's worth. </b>I've had some wonderful babysitters and nannies. Certainly I am happy they weren't cruel or neglectful babysitters, but maybe they were a little...too wonderful. Having a one-to-one ratio with our daughter, these wonderful babysitters and nannies played attentively and watched incessantly, anticipating Lucia's every need and fulfilling it the moment they could. This sounds good, but maybe, in large doses, it's not so great. As many parenting wonks point out, it's possible that most rich parents are doing <a href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwjqysT-5PfvAhWVG80KHemuAOAQFjABegQIBBAD&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.theatlantic.com%2Fmagazine%2Farchive%2F2014%2F04%2Fhey-parents-leave-those-kids-alone%2F358631%2F&usg=AOvVaw0pqQ128vBBtuiPp7JGiEhx" target="_blank">too much parenting</a>, not too little, and this likely goes for nannies, especially nannies for just one or two children.</p><p><b> </b>But what am I paying $15 an hour for anyway? I'd be upset if I learned that my babysitter spent the whole time on his phone playing video games or that the nanny spent the whole day running personal errands with the baby in tow. Some people make sure "light housekeeping" is in the contract, but am I really going to feel like a good parent if I hired a nanny that let the baby cry for a little bit while she finished up the dishes?</p><p>(2) <b>A child may get the mistaken impression that the nanny works for them (and the nanny may get this impression, too.) </b>In <i>The Secret Garden</i>, there's a linchpin scene where Mary, accustomed to having a private nanny in India, meets Martha the mostly-housemaid for the first time and is surprised that Martha won't dress her or do other things for her that she can do for herself. "Are you going to be my servant?" she asks, to which Martha replies, "I'm Mrs. Medlock's servant, an' she's Mr. Craven's" and later explains "It'll do thee good to wait on thysel' a bit. My mother always said she couldn't see why grand people's children didn't turn out fair fools--what with nurses an' bein' washed an' dressed an' took out to walk as if they was puppies!" Martha mostly has her own work to do, so she treats Mary like one of her own siblings (ah! here's another example of alloparenting!) and gives her a skipping rope and turns her out of doors to entertain herself.</p><p> </p><p><img alt="Martha and Mary from The Secret Garden - I just now caught the allusion to the Biblical Martha a… | Classic childrens books, War and peace characters, Secret garden" class="rg_i Q4LuWd" data-atf="true" data-deferred="1" data-iml="1173" data-index="0" height="180" 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" width="270" /> Martha has grate polishing to do!</p><p> <br /></p><p>Contrast this with the child who believes that the nanny works for them, that their needs and wishes should be attended to immediately. The nanny may think this themselves (because, after all, what are they getting paid $15 an hour for, anyway?) and attend to the child's needs immediately. And what would the parents think if they didn't? </p><p>In one of my <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Share-Renegade-Raising-Competent-Compassionate/dp/1585429368" target="_blank">favorite parenting books</a>, the author relates how when her mother went out and left them with a teenage babysitter, her mom was always clear to let the babysitter know that they <i>didn't </i>have to crawl around pretending to be horses if they didn't want to, even if the children insisted that's what they wanted to play. It's a remarkable thing, to empower a teen to say "no" to a kid, because there can be a lot of pressure when you know you're getting paid. But, it's not just nannies who can fall into "the child is customer trap"; even <a href="https://www.weareteachers.com/teaching-is-not-customer-service/" target="_blank">school teachers report </a>that students are increasingly treating them like servants who should deliver entertainment and engagement all the time.<br /></p><p>But with alloparenting, especially grandmas, I expect that my daughter will have to learn that sometimes her needs don't come first. Grandma has to prepare the neighborhood newsletter, Abuela is taking night classes, and both of them, like Mary, have gardening to do. Those <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/30/parenting/children-helping-at-home-coronavirus.html" target="_blank">pre-Industrial parenting gurus</a> stress the importance of teaching children to work alongside us rather than competing with our work or comprising the work of others, and grandparents, especially retired grandparents like my mom, are ideally situated to do so. Lucia learns that she is not necessarily the center of everything all the time, and she also gets a chance to learn some of those <a href="https://www.themontessorinotebook.com/montessori-activities/" target="_blank">charming Montessori life skills</a> alongside her grandparents. </p><p><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiy0OzMteZk_EMXT9OBk2o3-fpdrZg2jOW3dcIx0wVa_JJdUtNSKDHO7HtBNKEijHBzghI12rZ-jEW6V9va8pcqnSlgjuodz5mZCThD9FDXkPkg6UjgU2sRH7jZtAWsLq4iXbHPxBA7URO/s320/IMG_7038.JPG" /> Baking with Grandma</p><p><br /></p><p><b> </b>"Sounds great, in theory," my critics reply, "but my parents* are the worst." </p><p>First, are they the worst? A<a href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwj2v8-K7ffvAhUSK80KHeNjBqAQFjAAegQIBRAD&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.theatlantic.com%2Ffamily%2Farchive%2F2021%2F01%2Fwhy-parents-and-kids-get-estranged%2F617612%2F&usg=AOvVaw0Nc6FoaHMhAxM9OsqXAYRb" target="_blank"> recent article by an expert</a> on familiar estrangement points out that often estrangement of children and parents is initiated by grown children, and that those grown children see themselves as brave for cutting out their parents, while parents often feel saddened, betrayed and confused as to what they did to deserve this. I'm not saying that there aren't any parents who are, in fact, abusive and absolutely bad influences on you and your young children, but the bar might not be as strict as you think. Are your parents evangelical and you want to raise your kids secular? Consider yourself a liberal while your parents are conservative? Or opposite? </p><p>Have an honest conversation, away from the kids, about what you have in common, as <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Montessori-Toddler-Parents-Raising-Responsible/dp/152350689X" target="_blank">one parenting book</a> recommend in their grandparenting section; this may turn into ground rules and compromises for while the kids are being alloparented or you may have to "translate" for your alloparents: "I think what Pop-pop is trying to say is that playing with toy guns makes him uncomfortable. We will only do that at our home."</p><p>But one of the great advantages of alloparenting is that your kid gets to learn that there are other ways of thinking and other ways of doing things that the people they love engage in. They live in someone else's home and learn about someone else's life in a very intimate way. Again, a paid employee doesn't have the latitude to do things their way, since they can be sacked for doing things in a way other than as a direct proxy for the parent.</p><p>Look, I get how hard it can be to give up some of that control in parenting. Since coming to live with family, my daughter has drunk a lot more orange juice, been gifted a lot more plastic toys, and has watched a lot more TV** than I would have let her if I was living in the parenting bubble I used to live in. But she's fine. Partially this is because we tend to overstate our role as parents in "forming" our children: both <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Selfish-Reasons-Have-More-Kids/dp/0465028616" target="_blank">conservative</a> and <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Gardener-Carpenter-Development-Relationship-Children/dp/1536617830" target="_blank">liberal </a>parenting experts agree. Partially because I think both set of grandparents did a pretty great job with me, my siblings, my husband, and my sisters-in-law. If you can say likewise, then don't worry too much about the small details.<br /></p><p>"Fine then," the critics say, "why not just all go in with alloparenting, since it's so great?"</p><p>Well, first because it's hard to be able to do. We tend to live where our jobs take us, rather than being close to family. My job at a university is extremely rare and usually you go whereever you can find an academic job. Krystian's job in chemical engineering is usually geographically limited to Texas and Louisiana, far from our parents. Covid-19 and remote working gave us, and <a href="https://www.npr.org/2021/03/09/974862254/workers-are-moving-first-asking-questions-later-what-happens-when-offices-reopen" target="_blank">many other young professionals</a> like us, the chance to de-couple where we work and where we live. It's not clear how long that will last, or what the costs of it will be. Probably, we will move back to Houston before the end of the summer break and that will be the end of that.</p><p>Also, alloparenting does impose a cost on those alloparents. Even though my <a href="https://bethslineuponline.blogspot.com/2021/04/the-absolute-best-part-of-world-wide.html" target="_blank">mom insists</a> she is loving the chance to be more involved in Lucia's life, we have to be careful to make sure that she still gets to exercise, to get her own work done, and to see her friends, now that their all vaccinated up and everything. You have to "pay" for alloparenting in social exchange of favors and consideration. Sometimes this is direct, (we try to tidy up, cook for our parents 3 days a week, and recently bought Abuela a rose bush to show our appreciation) and sometimes this indirect--as a flexible-hour worker, I've done a lot of alloparenting for my brother, who is another Covid-19 migrant, especially when his kids were in remote schooling. Alloparenting means sometimes you give and sometimes you get.<br /></p><p>Speaking of which, alloparenting, like parenting, does seem to have a gendered aspect to it, sometimes becoming a big burden on women. While Abuelo and Grandpa do care for Lucia, they don't really <i>care </i>for her--mostly they will let her watch TV with them or they will admire her or steer her away from danger, but they aren't really going to change a poopy diaper or handle a meltdown. There are probably some cultural/generational traditions at play in this disparity, but even my brothers and brothers-in-law have hesitations in caring for Lucia in a way that my husband does not. I don't think this is because they can't parent--half of them are dads and excellent dads at that--but because they are less comfortable as alloparents. </p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBC6GD-vn1AbdY3mgXTjei8c4SpTbf14p1PAYUha0vxIv99STTk5yYv-nUJPg89-jbSv_rU2HVVxZSIjbonzzgRCUNR67Ld_hxlN2SDV8Oc8RUL054GrUDRPKdn4sQQqPWJFTSKYtU8g/s1536/Lucia+and+Daddy+birthday.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="1024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBC6GD-vn1AbdY3mgXTjei8c4SpTbf14p1PAYUha0vxIv99STTk5yYv-nUJPg89-jbSv_rU2HVVxZSIjbonzzgRCUNR67Ld_hxlN2SDV8Oc8RUL054GrUDRPKdn4sQQqPWJFTSKYtU8g/s320/Lucia+and+Daddy+birthday.jpg" /></a>Look what good dad Krystian is!</p><p> <br /></p><p>But I think this little experiment in alloparenting has done a lot to open our eyes as parents--to be more confident that we aren't screwing our kid up if we don't do things exactly the way parents of our generation do, and to give us the flexibility to pursue our own needs and wants (we can go out after Lucia goes to bed!). We're more interested in living close to family than we were before the pandemic and to see the benefits tangibly and realistically.<br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p>* I say "parents" a lot in this essay, but sometimes alloparenting isn't about parents at all. In my and my huband's family history, aunts, older siblings, step-grandparents and lots of other extended family members have played key roles in alloparenting. Grandparents, though, are probably the most frequent and consistent alloparents.<br /></p><p>**Including *shudder* <i>Paw Patrol. </i>My husband and I were planning on discussing the existence of <i>Paw Patrol </i>with our daughter at around the same age, and with the same solemnity, that we would discuss atomic weapons and pornography. Now she can identify the characters by sight.<br /></p>mlhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06897457666469917298noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4716342550760162208.post-36120232754531452882020-05-10T08:37:00.000-07:002020-05-10T08:37:12.086-07:00Dandelion baby: My Mother's Day ReflectionI was standing in a long, long line at the airport, on the way to a girls' trip to Prague, when my former roommate Gretchen noticed a family of dandelion-haired little girls a few serpentines ahead of us. "That's what your kids will look like," she said.<br />
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That's certainly how I looked as a kid--white-blonde hair in all directions--but that's not how my kids would look. I was dating my future fiance, my future husband, my future baby-daddy at the time, and Krystian is Puerto Rican, with thick, black wavy hair. "Is it racist," I asked Gretchen as the line dragged on, "that I'm a little sad that my kids won't look just like me?"<br />
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Five years later, and I have a non-theoretical daughter, who <i>doesn't </i>look just like me (and, for that matter, doesn't look exactly like Krystian, either) and I'm extremely grateful for it. There's nothing wrong with little blondies, but let me explain why having a daughter who doesn't look just like me has taken me on a philosophical journey into motherhood itself.<br />
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When I was buying baby clothes, I bought a lot of grey. Partially because grey is cool, but also because I look great in grey. And black. And pale blue. But when I put the little Lulu loaf in those grey clothes, they did not look great on her. Because she doesn't look just like me. She looks great, I came to find out, in other colors, some colors I can't pull off, like tangerine, white, and her signature color, mustard.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidUCXIzmVYV2kC8y86WCmsJuQCJCeDRSlcI9CPBBH0RIAIERN5XYlXgy1hQnxt3ItwdTY65WMmvZLh1fYqK_MOdeYMQR2whd63-kTbULqexR98BOCbbmCfowiN6ijh0IjG3506d_xxNA/s1600/dandelion.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="633" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidUCXIzmVYV2kC8y86WCmsJuQCJCeDRSlcI9CPBBH0RIAIERN5XYlXgy1hQnxt3ItwdTY65WMmvZLh1fYqK_MOdeYMQR2whd63-kTbULqexR98BOCbbmCfowiN6ijh0IjG3506d_xxNA/s320/dandelion.jpg" width="211" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Turns out she is a dandelion girl, after all.<br />
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This superficial realization, that Lucia looks good in yellow, while I look good in grey, creates a healthy distinction: <b>Lucia is not just a little Mary</b>.<br />
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When I found out I was pregnant with a girl, I thought of all my friends who have deep-rooted issues with their mothers (Not me.), and spent a few hours digging into why the daughter-mother relationship can be so tricky. A big part of it keeps coming back to that important distinction that mothers and daughters are different people with different interests and strengths.<br />
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Lucia may some day have interests that have never crossed my mind before, like chess, softball, or hair-styling. She may even have interests that absolutely flummox me. <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34342011-the-feminist-s-guide-to-raising-a-little-princess" target="_blank">Devorah Blachor</a> and <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/8565083-cinderella-ate-my-daughter" target="_blank">Peggy Orenstein</a> each have their own insightful (and funny) books about having their preschool daughters inexplicably get swallowed up in princess culture, despite their being careful feminists. These books are addressing a very specific kind of difference, but I think it applies to the bigger issues: What are the things you want to enforce and what differences are you comfortable allowing?<br />
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Both Blachor and Orenstein come to a similar conclusion: let the superficials be what they will, but focus on instilling the core values that matter to you--she can get into chess, softball or hairstyling, but I hope she is kind, diligent, and honest in whatever her interests are. <br />
<br />mlhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06897457666469917298noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4716342550760162208.post-80787813311684738492020-03-11T13:33:00.002-07:002020-03-11T13:43:26.260-07:00Unsolicited Advice: Suddenly Online Teaching?<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRatjbFCeOmEIvIrXmd7sVSe707TuuVPesFU0w3asAPwg9vJLCYaZKW0CplhgleaKriUDbGTHnf7vR8bON4OdPynrLFNivU269840zffrW_aXjnm6Qhy7fcVI8VqNdLpTUyJ1Mb8xFZw/s1600/red+desk+room.JPG"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRatjbFCeOmEIvIrXmd7sVSe707TuuVPesFU0w3asAPwg9vJLCYaZKW0CplhgleaKriUDbGTHnf7vR8bON4OdPynrLFNivU269840zffrW_aXjnm6Qhy7fcVI8VqNdLpTUyJ1Mb8xFZw/s400/red+desk+room.JPG" width="400" /></a> <br />
Fig 1: Empty Tables, Empty Chairs <br />
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Welp, here you are. You’ve been asked to teach online for the first time. (Probably because of coronoavirus scares.) In a perfect world, you’d have lots of time to conceptualize your class in a whole new way to accommodate the strengths of the online format, providing a powerful educational experience. This is not a perfect world, though (e.g. coronavirus scares), so here’s some quick-and-dirty tips to convert your classroom experience online.<br />
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<b>Setting Up I: Technology </b>As soon as they hint your class might go online, start exploring your online options. Most universities have a learning management system like Canvas or Blackboard, and maybe you’ve already used it for your face-to-face classes, but explore what bells and whistles you might have missed. You might set up a phone call or consultation with a specialist at your school or just someone you know who has successfully taught online before.<br />
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<b>Setting Up II: Adjusting Instruction </b>Once you have a general idea of what you can do online, decide how you’ll adapt how you teach an online class. For example, if you teach a large lecture class, you may want to record your slideshow as a screencast; if you teach a small discussion-based class, you may choose to meet on Collaborate or Skype to discuss the material.<br />
<b><br />Setting Up III: Adjusting Assignments</b> Just as you have been deliberate in deciding the best way to teach online, you’ll want to adjust your assignments. For example, if you used to administer a short-answer test in your face-to-face class, do you want to make that test online (your learning management system may have a feature that will make it easy to convert from a Word document to an online exam) or do you want to email your students the test and ask them to fill it out and email it back? You may also have to change some assignments: instead of performing a dissection themselves, could they watch a video of a dissection online and answer questions about what they saw?<br />
<b><br />Setting Up IV: Adjusting the Syllabus </b>Let your students know if the grading breakdown from the beginning of class is going to be the same as before. Are any assignments canceled? How will attendance be counted now? This is also a good time to establish expectations for your students.<br />
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<b>Establish Expectations I: Technology </b>Let your students know that you won’t be able to answer all their tech problems and make sure they have the contact information for your university’s tech support. If they email a question about why their rtf document isn’t loading, cc them and forward it to your university tech support.<br />
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<b>Establish Expectations II:</b> Time use Let your students know approximately how much time they should expect to spend on classwork each use. The easiest way is to just use the ratio they tell freshmen: for everyone one hour in class, spend 2-3 outside in study and homework. So if your 3-hour class is now online, you should let your students know that they should block off 6-9 hours a week for online work. If you want to get more precise, you can load your course stats into a calculator <a href="https://cte.rice.edu/workload">like this one from Rice</a> to get an approximation of your workload. Again, don’t forget to also figure in videos, group chats or whatever you’re doing to replace your traditional class.<br />
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<b>Establish Expectations III: </b>Instructor Responsiveness Let students know approximately how long it will take you to provide feedback on their work. I recommend using an outside estimation since you might not know how long it will take you for some recently adjusted assignments. Also let students know when to expect responses to their email. For example, I always tell my students not to expect me to respond over weekends. I might. But don’t expect it.<br />
<b><br />Online Teaching Tips I: Touch Base</b> This is one of my favorite online teaching tools. I email students on the following schedule: (1) At least once a week to remind them what assignments they should be completing and where we are in terms of bigger projects. (2) After I’ve graded a batch of assignments to describe both strengths and weaknesses of the class overall and and tips I have for the class going forwards. [Sometimes I combine (1) and (2) in the same email.] (3) I send a form letter to any students who haven’t submitted any due assignments asking them if everything is okay and reminding them of the penalties of late work.Sometimes students don’t respond at all, but the little email touch helps stop small problems before they become big problems.<br />
<b><br />Online Teaching Tips II: Provide a Guide for Responses</b> It’s easy to tell students to respond to each other in the discussion board, but you’ll get higher quality responses if you give them a guide. Giving these guides can aid students with writers block and avoid the vapid “looks good!” discussion response. For example, you might tell students, ``Identify what you think is the main claim of their paper. Then give the ‘devil’s advocate’ position and argue against their claim. Respond to at least two other students for >75 words.<br />
<b><br />Online Teaching Tips III: Give Occasional Review </b>It’s easy in any class to forget what came before, but online classes, because of their neat folders, can be even more capsulated. Since you’re changing formats halfway through class, students might forget some of what they learned in the previous format. You can include periodic review quizzes that go back a couple of units, or you can ask students to write short reflective papers about what skills they have learned and how they have applied them. This is also nice to do at the end of the class.<br />
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<b>Encourage Your Students (and Yourself) </b>Teaching online is hard, especially last minute, especially because of a pandemic. There’s a lot to be scared about, but remind yourself, and your students, that they are able to do this. Find resources online and through your institution that can help answer the questions and concerns that will come up. And I’m one of those sources. We can get through this! <br />
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<br />mlhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06897457666469917298noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4716342550760162208.post-17077375098145614882020-03-02T20:23:00.002-08:002020-03-02T22:32:03.592-08:005% Better: A Painless Approach to the Better Planet<img alt="Image result for eco villains captain planet" class="n3VNCb" data-noaft="1" src="https://media.mnn.com/assets/images/2009/12/ecovillains.jpg.638x0_q80_crop-smart.jpg" style="height: 400px; margin: 0px; width: 500px;" /><br />
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This post actually began when I started listening to podcasts about exercising while exercising (Try it--it's remarkably motivating and self-congratulatory) and I came across <a href="https://www.npr.org/2019/04/25/717059239/a-saner-mindset-for-weight-loss" target="_blank">this one </a>from NPR's LifeKit series. It made me think: we tend to think in such extremes, especially in terms of activities that reflect an identity. Either you are a health nut or a coach potato. An obsessive workaholic or a work-to-live slacker. A rabidly alarmist environmentalist or a climate-change denying eco-villain.<br />
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<a href="about:invalid#zClosurez" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Image result for captain planet villains" border="0" class="rg_i Q4LuWd tx8vtf" data-atf="true" data-deferred="1" data-iml="1026" 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" /></a><br />
<br />
But what if I approached my environmental habits the same way I did exercise and eating healthy--not an all-or-nothing proposition, but a series of habits that get me incrementally closer to a better life?<br />
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<br />
Much like living a healthier lifestyle, being incrementally more environmentally friendly starts with recognizing your current strengths and weaknesses and building on that.<br />
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My household is not the worst. Since living in Austin four years ago, I've become extremely confident about bringing my own bags to the grocery store (partially, I admit, I am motivated by not have approximately 40,000,000 bags smooshed under my kitchen sink) and even when I go shopping for clothes, I usually just get a bag at the first store and stick all my subsequent purchases in that bag.<br />
My husband, who did his dissertation articles on household energy practices, has gotten us in the habit of a winter 68* and a summer 78* indoor temperature. He informs me, lackadaisically, that this is the standard, but I have been known to fiddle with the Nest when we have company over. We even drive a Tesla, which is <a href="https://www.tesla.com/inventory/used/ms" target="_blank">not that expensive</a> when you buy used, and we get the added smugness of living in a state where <a href="https://www.dallasnews.com/opinion/commentary/2019/04/20/texas-proves-that-booming-renewable-energy-doesn-t-bring-electricity-price-armageddon/" target="_blank">renewable electric options</a> are plentiful, and most of our competitive electric companies offer a "renewable premium" plan. We live in a house that's not ridiculously too big for us and both of us telecommute at least a couple of days a week.<br />
<br />
But that's not good enough.<br />
<br />
We could go full "<a href="https://www.amazon.com/No-Impact-Man-Adventures-Discoveries/dp/0312429835/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2NJWBHZORI69O&keywords=no+impact+man&qid=1583206138&sprefix=no+impact%2Caps%2C248&sr=8-2" target="_blank">No Impact Man"</a> and try to give up electronic entertainment and toilet paper. We could make some of the choices my awesome and thoughtful friends have
done, like choosing cloth diapers over disposable, getting down to one
car, and buying extremely local. But frankly all of that seems daunting and a little painful. Instead, I'm just shooting for 5% more environmentally friendly this month and then seeing if we can go another 5% next month. This won't stop climate change in its tracks, but, statistically, our household never had that power. We will, however, be able to be a little more gentle to the earth while developing habits that last.<br />
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Here's what we tried out this month:<br />
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<b>1. Buying Bulk for Less Plastic Waste</b><br />
<br />
This one's a little like a geometry problem: What uses more plastic--four one-liter container or one four-liter container? In addition to reducing the number of olive oil/ liquid soap /yogurt cup containers that are produced and then possibly/<a href="https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/feb/18/americas-recycled-plastic-waste-is-clogging-landfills-survey-finds" target="_blank">possibly not</a> get recycled, buying in bulk means less running to the supermarket to get supplies that are running low.<br />
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One particular item that seemed like low-hanging fruit (literally) were the little applesauce packets that Baby Girl inhales. If you haven't had a toddler in a few years, let me testify that it is magic that my daughter can eat healthy fruits and vegetables in a form that seldom gets plastered all over. I mean, I can even give her a pouch in the car! But none of those packets are recyclable and the sweetheart darling can eat two at a sitting. I always feel a little sketchy when my plans to use less plastic involve me buying more plastic, but <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07PDNM9VF/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o04_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1" target="_blank">these cute little reusable pouches</a> seemed like a great way to nix the single-use pouches. I just bought a large container of applesauce and spooned some in myself. In practice, there were some downfalls--the banana smoothie I made did not keep in the fridge well, and some applesauce fell out, and it was depressing to see just how quickly Lucia slurped out what I just spooned in, but over all, I think this was a win. I just fill up three or four at a time and keep them in the fridge until she needs them.<br />
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<b>2. Saving Energy-Consumptive Activities for "Off-peak" Hours</b><br />
<br />
This one's a little technical, but pretty much think about what would happen if every person on your power grid came home and flipped on their light switch at the exact same time. What kind of capacity would your power provider need to have? Now, imagine instead that some people turned on the light an hour earlier, some 45 minutes earlier, some 30 minutes earlier, some 30 minutes later... you get the idea. Peak hours in most places are typically 10 am -7 pm Monday-Friday.<br />
<br />
So when you reserve high energy activities like running your dryer (the second-largest energy expense in your home, after air conditioning) or taking a hot bath for Saturday morning or in the late evening, you smooth out the demand for energy. Some energy companies even offer off-peak perks like "free nights and weekends" to financially push you towards off-peak hours.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>3. Taking Better Care of Our Clothes</b><br />
<br />
One thing I've long noticed about my mom is that her clothes last forever, and last time I visited, I noticed how careful she was with caring for her clothes.<br />
<br />
Speaking of dryers, not only do they eat a ton of energy, but they also
eat clothes, especially Target t-shirts and H&M sweaters. My mom flat-dries a lot: sweaters, jeans, shirts with embroidery, etc. This means that she does fewer loads in the drier and her clothes last longer.<br />
<br />
Another thing my mom does is she doesn't feel the need to wash clothes that don't get dirty. Look, think about it: if you wear a little back dress for two hours while sitting in a cool, dark theater, then come home and take it off, does it really need to be washed? How about the cardigan that just sat layered on top of your shirt for the 3 cooler hours of the morning? Unless you sweat profusely or get spaghetti stains on everything, there's probably a lot you don't need to wash. Jeans, famously, can go <a href="https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/10/30/how-often-should-you-wash-your-jeans/2485322001/" target="_blank">weeks between washes</a>.<br />
<br />
This month, some clothes went back on their hanger instead of automatically in the wash after I took them off and more things went on the flat drying rack. It will probably not a big change in our carbon footprint today but it might decrease the clothes we need to buy in the future.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>4. Buying Books Second-hand and Patronizing the Local Library</b><br />
<br />
I'm putting these together because we didn't do all that much shopping this month, but I did go hog wild in the book section of Goodwill--and came out only $14 poorer. Which is to say that this focus not only was good for the environment, but also the budget.<br />
<br />
Now there are library options--we live equidistant between two libraries, and, yes, we drove to get there, but my neighborhood has a <a href="https://littlefreelibrary.org/" target="_blank">Little Free Library</a> where we can swap our reading material. It's been a nice way to get to know my neighbors--except someone who keeps putting psychological thrillers in. I'm pretty sure that person is a murderer. <br />
<br />
I'm not suggesting that if we hadn't gone to the library so much this week we would have been buying paperbacks and then tossing them into the rubbish heap, but sometimes you <i>just want new things </i>and going to the library allows you to experience that thrill of something new and different without actually buying it.<br />
<br />
And buying something from a <a href="https://www.latimes.com/business/story/2019-11-15/vintage-pre-owned-christmas-shopping-trend" target="_blank">thrift shop or resale retailer</a> can be extra exciting. You never know what you'll get--I went to Goodwill looking for some of the it-books of the 2000s, and I did find a complete <i>Hunger Games </i>trilogy (several of them, in fact), but also <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40873273-snow-flower-and-the-secret-fan" target="_blank">Snow Flower and the Secret Fan</a>, which I had vague memories of being a book-club book. I bought it ($1, baby!), and it was the subject of almost every conversation I had for a week.<br />
<br />
And, as a byproduct of these expeditions, we've been reading a lot more. That means less streaming and scrolling. Okay, that's a minuscule environmental impact, but, still!<br />
<br />
<b>5. Keeping 5% In Mind.</b><br />
<br />
We still did plenty of non-environmental things this month. We drove hours to Austin for a weekend visit. I drank a couple plastic water bottles. Krystian completely played two video games. Lucia got a new wardrobe of 18-month clothes. But keeping this 5% goal in mind also led to some victories, like when I got my mug from my office instead of using a Styrofoam cup, or when we removed the plastic hangers from Lucia's clothes and gave them back at the store. It's just nice to remember to be a little bit kinder to the earth. Remembering that we don't have to be perfect, just better.<br />
<br />
Edit: Oy, I thought of another we do. Decreasing our home delivery days. That means the <a href="https://www.imperfectfoods.com/" target="_blank">Imperfect Produce</a> box is bigger and comes once every two weeks instead of every week. A<a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/what-is-amazon-day-schedule-deliveries-prime-benefit" target="_blank">mazon stops by our house on Mondays</a>, regardless of when we bought stuff, and we put non-essentials in our cart until we get an actual cart-full of stuff to get delivered. <br />
<br />mlhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06897457666469917298noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4716342550760162208.post-23081180050274810482018-11-13T06:46:00.001-08:002018-11-13T06:46:09.001-08:00Unsolicited advice: My 10 must-dos during the 1st six weeks with babyThere are dozens of books, magazines and blogs giving baby advice, so here's mine, based on almost six weeks with one baby. So, you know, there's that.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkZnIOAHM32aADHc5j3R_v9TpIbfxotMHWZsidOK6f5lEw2mB1Y9K6MPAIlvDhfm7EPi9cBwHXwlrZLErCK86UZ_GtMY-Qed4Wm9FU4S2O1bEth9izREIkXCmOfDA48T6W6UTGU6oYBQ/s1600/IMG_1147.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkZnIOAHM32aADHc5j3R_v9TpIbfxotMHWZsidOK6f5lEw2mB1Y9K6MPAIlvDhfm7EPi9cBwHXwlrZLErCK86UZ_GtMY-Qed4Wm9FU4S2O1bEth9izREIkXCmOfDA48T6W6UTGU6oYBQ/s320/IMG_1147.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dance, baby, dance</td></tr>
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<br />
<br />
But I've been feeling nostalgic already, so let me relate what I learned in this first six weeks. Here are 10 things to do in the first weeks after baby comes.<br />
<br />
1. <b>Heal. </b>This is #1 and above #2 for a reason. Whether you had a c-section like me or had a vaginal birth, your body has some physical healing to do. Add to that what one friend called a hormonal hangover and a lot of powerful emotions and you've got a lot of working on yourself to do. And while someone else can lend a helping hand with baby, no one can take a nap for you, hydrate for you, take medications for you, or shower for you. This goes for mental health, too--take the <a href="https://www.fresno.ucsf.edu/pediatrics/downloads/edinburghscale.pdf" target="_blank">Edinburgh post-partum depression test</a>, which was given to me at every doctor's appointment, mine or baby's, and before I left the hospital, and seek healing mentally and emotionally, too. The active effort you put into healing will pay dividends, not just for you, but for baby, so listen carefully to your doctor and do whatever it takes to heal. <b>Step #1: Prioritize healing your body and mind.</b><br />
<br />
2.<b> Take care of baby. </b>Duh. But while it's easy in theory (feed, change, hold, repeat), it does take some patience sometimes. Other times, it's kind of a delight. I weirdly love changing baby's diaper and gauging the amount and shade of baby poop. Maybe it's because she was borderline on the jaundice scale, but I always think, "Good job, baby, get those bilirubins out!" <b>Step #2: Attend to baby's needs.</b><br />
<br />
Okay, those two, frankly, take up 90% of your time in those first six weeks, but they're also kind of no-brainers, so here's on to the other bits.<br />
<br />
3. <b>Say no. </b>Knowing that we were having a baby in flu season, we agreed with our pediatrician about creating a "cocoon" of just a few vaccinated people around our baby. This gave us permission ("Doctor says...sorry!") to say no. No to more than one visitor a day, no to work or church duties, no to cleaning the house... Having a new baby is a big deal and you can control the demands on your time and access to the baby. It's kind of a perfect excuse. <b>Step #3: Say no to anything you don't want to do.</b><br />
<br />
4. <b>Say yes. </b>On the other hand, the baby is also great excuse for saying yes, especially to people who offer to do something for you. Not only did we accept food from the people at church, but when my mom offered to help organize my pre-pregnancy and/or post-natal wardrobe, I jumped on it. In fact, prep yourself for the idea that people want to help you and come up with a list ahead of time of things that would be helpful for you, ideally that play into others' strengths. My mother-in-law loves gardening, so I called on her to help me catch up on nine-months' neglect of the yard. My parents love long walks, so I asked them to the dog out with them. <b>Step #4: Say yes to anything you do want. </b><br /><b></b><br />
<b> </b><br />
5. <b>Introduce baby into your life. </b>Make some cozy memories with baby joining you on things you like. My husband cuddled up to baby and played the new Spiderman video game. My mother-in-law and I took baby on her first outing to a garden center. Find ways to introduce baby into the things that are important to you. If your hobby is ice luge, I'm not saying you should strap a helmet on
her and toss her down a mountain, but you could watch YouTube highlights
together. <b>Step #5: Begin to build family traditions and memories, even if you're the only one who remembers them. </b><br />
<br />
6. <b>Capture the moments. </b>As first time parents, we took (take) a lot of pictures with our cell phones, but we also hired a photographer to take some glamour shots for the mantle piece. I'm glad we have nice pictures, but with baby, it's really been those candid cell pictures, especially the ones in the hospital, that are priceless. An early attempt at a smile, a few seconds of hiccup video--these are really precious because they are so fleeting. I'm shocked how quickly our baby went from an eye-rolling, mouth-lulling
hot water bottle, to a rounded-out baby capable of eye contact and
moving her head. I also have <a href="https://dayoneapp.com/" target="_blank">kept up a journal on my phone</a>, using talk-to-text to dictate while I breastfeed or carry baby. I have a formal baby book, but it forms my thoughts into a strict template that doesn't line up with my priorities (why keep a log of head circumference? why do I have to list the celebrities currently popular? Where can I put footprints?). For photographs and journaling, make your own candid impressions, <b>Step #6: Enlist your smartphone in protecting memories by taking pictures and/or keeping a journal.</b><br /><b></b><br />
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7. <b>Take care of business. </b>You may think your mind is a sleep-deprived mush, but you can draw on some support to make sure that you do all the paperwork of baby. Besides just the regular birth certificate and social security card stuff, I would highly recommend reviewing baby's insurance to make sure you like the plan, making baby a beneficiary on your financial accounts, and opening a <a href="https://www.reviews.com/529-plans/" target="_blank">529b college fund.</a> There's something very satisfying about setting baby up. <b>Step #7: Set up baby's financial and legal security.</b><br />
<br />
8. <b>Don't suffer through "almost good enough." </b>The footed jammies I loved when I was pregant and registered for in a half dozen patterns--the feet are too tight, making it difficult to get baby's splayed toes through. I thought I could deal with it, taking a little longer to get her dressed, until it was the middle of the night and I had just changed her diaper and now she was thoroughly awake as I tried to jam her feet it. So, I grabbed a pair of scissors and cut the feet out of the pajamas right there. Sure, maybe my daughter will have a repressed memory of me standing over her cradle with scissors, but now both our lives are easier. <b>Step #8: Do what it takes to have what you need.</b><br />
<br />
9. <b>Prepare to leave. </b>Whether you just want to go out for a date night or you're going back to work, take the time to set you, your baby and your caretaker up for<b> </b>success. Decide what you do and don't need the caretaker to do while you're gone, prepare a bottle and steel your mind to be away from baby. I haven't had to have a paid sitter yet, but as I'm interviewing them, I'm grateful I'm figuring this out now rather than last minute. <b>Step #9: Put time and attention into preparing for the time when you're away from baby.</b><br />
<br />
10. <b>Slow down and enjoy it. </b>It's a cliche, maybe, but between multitasking, checklisting, and getting a little too eager for baby's next stage, it can be hard to stop and smell the newborn. Every step goes fast--you only have a dozen days with the umbilical cord, a couple days in the hospital, and you only hold your baby for the first time once. <b>Step #10: Hold on to these moments as they come. </b><br /><b></b>mlhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06897457666469917298noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4716342550760162208.post-71120812919897996862018-08-15T13:26:00.002-07:002018-08-15T13:26:57.265-07:00Let's not give up on travel: Why travel matters and how to do it a little better<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-niQPPtUajoGAKJvg35G92pInUU2v2UZ3O-oih6yP1ZSC9phDJFYyDOSvQYqVvKlCjl1SEWJuM2_SO13PhfS2hzRBvkT-ylbfsd6M7mm6mNCdJPm5EokakmWsHu6jBP0BjRhzim1opw/s1600/SwimmingAdriatic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="200" data-original-width="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-niQPPtUajoGAKJvg35G92pInUU2v2UZ3O-oih6yP1ZSC9phDJFYyDOSvQYqVvKlCjl1SEWJuM2_SO13PhfS2hzRBvkT-ylbfsd6M7mm6mNCdJPm5EokakmWsHu6jBP0BjRhzim1opw/s1600/SwimmingAdriatic.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Adriatic Sea: The Closest I've Come to Croatia</td></tr>
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At the risk of sounding like an insufferable hipster, I've liked Croatia before it was cool. Heck, I liked Croatia when it was still Yugoslavia. Maybe it was that hottie Goran Visnjic as Dr. Kovac in <i>ER</i> or adolescent fascination with war-torn countries, but I fantasized about the turn-of-the-century glamour of pre-WWI resorts on the Croatian coast, and the fringes of both the Ottoman and Roman empires, and the melting pot of Catholic, Orthodox and Muslim culture. I got a Croatian dictionary for Christmas once and tried my best to leverage my junior-high Russian into self-learning the Croatian language. I didn't grow out of loving Yugoslavia. I watched depressing subtitled films. My undergraduate thesis was on a late-20th century Slovenian war poet. In graduate school, I had to appeal to both my own department and the Slavic department to take a credit/non-credit spot in an undergraduate class where I finally got to study the Croatian language. For 20 years, "Croatia" has been top of my travel to-do list. #2 is "Thailand," which is actually more similar than you'd think, because both Croatia and Thailand are countries experiencing a serious backlash against tourism.<br />
<br />
At the same time "America first" policies and slogans swept over my homeland, a slew of countries from my beloved Croatia to New Zealand are telling outsiders to stay home. "Tourist go home," the graffiti reads, reminding me of the "Yankee go home" slogans of post-colonial outposts like the Philippines. <a href="https://www.fodors.com/news/photos/fodors-no-list-2018" target="_blank">Forder's 2018 "No List,"</a> sometimes in the past focused on safety, emphasizes the "places that don't want you." A slew of popular liberal websites bewail the impact that "over-tourism" is having on places like Venice, Machu Pichu, and, yes, the Philippines. Stop raping the land and the culture, these opinion pieces complain, you bloated selfie-takers.<br />
<br />
Hating "tourists" is nothing new, as the year-long residents of many American summer destination sites can attest, but is also complicated, as the year-long residents of many American summer destination sites can also attest. No one wants to be edged out by peroxide-nosed, Hawaiian t-shirt-wearing idiots who stumble around cluelessly, impervious to how they are impacting those who have to live here.<br />
<br />
On the other hand, tourism is a relatively "clean" industry, and one that can revitalize a community. I took a long bike ride along the <a href="https://www.traillink.com/trail/great-allegheny-passage/?utm_source=railstotrails.org&utm_medium=link_trailblog&utm_campaign=RTCreferrals" target="_blank">Great Allegheny Passage</a>, part of the Rails-to-Trails Conservancy and was amazed at how this tourist attraction had revitalized a region with unstable industry. The guy who shuttled us back to DC told us how he had been a machinist before, but kept losing his job due to cutbacks. Now he works long hours in the summer and lives comfortably off the proceeds all winter long. In a cafe, a woman, noticing our embarrassing biker shorts, approached us and asked if her son could set up a cooler to sell drinks on the trail--would people buy them? They sure would, we said confidently, because we had eaten some of the most over-priced sub-par food of our lives with grateful abandon because it wasn't PowerBars and it was located just off the trail. Tourists are suckers. Hungry suckers.<br />
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<div style="text-align: left;">
No wonder <a href="https://islandsofpuertorico.com/puerto-rico-tourism-after-hurricane-maria/" target="_blank">The Islands of Puerto Rico</a> so touchingly appeals for tourists to come back Post-Maria: "Thank you in advance for your interest in visiting Puerto Rico and
supporting our recovery by simply vacationing on the island. A great
vacation in Puerto Rico, helps thousands of families relying on tourism
dollars to feed their families and hold on to what they have left.
Tourism has helped the economy bounce back from such a devastating
disaster. If you’re a repeat visitor, we appreciate your continued
support.<strong><span style="color: #ff6600;"> Puerto Rico is still as enchanting as ever…your visit is a gift to yourself and to the people on the island. Thank you!!</span></strong>" (Orange bold in the original). Even cruise ships, the most touristy of all tourism, can be welcomed and courted by eager locals, as we were when we visited <a href="https://www.tourismnanaimo.com/" target="_blank">Nanaimo </a>on a cruise--the city chartered buses to pick us up and transport us in a loop with several shopping and tourism stops. And, at each of these stops, friendly high school or retired volunteers cheerily gave us advice. One nice young lady sympathized when I told her I had a wedding shower <i>right after</i> my visit and gave me several suggestions where I could buy some British Columbian lingerie. </div>
<br />
<br />
And this is just the economic side of it. I genuinely believe in <a href="https://books.google.com/books/about/Travel_as_a_Political_Act.html?id=fVxIDwAAQBAJ&printsec=frontcover&source=kp_read_button#v=onepage&q&f=false" target="_blank">Rick Steve's "Travel as a Political Act" </a>philosophy, which became ingrained through constant childhood exposure to those PBS specials that invariably end with Rick getting sloshed with some locals in a pub while attempting to speak a few phrases in their native tongue. Bless you, Rick Steves. Even without wetting the whistle, I've had literal perspective-changing travel experiences by hanging out with other high school kids in Taiwan (more on that below), or discussing politics with an Egyptian woman who participated in the Arab Spring, or watching a curator at the Hermitage museum tear up as he described planting tulips in a garden that had grown cabbages during the Siege of Leningrad. Actually <i>being </i>in a place, <i>talking </i>with people is the greatest anecdote to small-minded isolationism.<br />
<br />
But definitely not all tourist experiences get at this ideal. So if you're looking for some lists, here are 7 suggestions to make your travel more meaningful, less exploitative, and kinder and two for if you decide to stay home.<br />
<ol>
<li><b>Go to Off-hype Destinations </b>Remember when Iceland was quirky and cool? I do, partially because I love that Walter Mitty movie. I had a friend who spent New Years in Iceland, with an Icelandic family from a cheap Icelandic flight because Iceland was trying to get its tourism off the ground. But now Iceland has become hip and is <a href="https://www.citylab.com/life/2017/07/iceland-tourism/533382/" target="_blank">flooded with people doing dumb things</a>. Hyped up places always are. New Zealand, too, used to be a remote outpost for bird watchers and other nature nerds, but then became victim of its own popularity as it has tried to provide trails and a<a href="https://www.stuff.co.nz/national/106221638/in-a-national-park-an-avalanche-of-opposition" target="_blank">ccommodations for casual travelers</a>. So why not try somewhere the herds (even the hipster herds) are Instagramming less frequently? Sub Vietnam or Laos for Thailand or Portugal for <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/travel/2017/aug/10/anti-tourism-marches-spread-across-europe-venice-barcelona" target="_blank">Spain or Italy</a>.</li>
<li><b>Go Off-season </b>Locals don't hate <i>you</i>, but they may hate a TON of <i>us</i>. By traveling in off-peak times, not only are you not crowding up favorite summer beach restaurants, but you're providing some needed smoothing to the local economy. Remember that machinist who shuttled us home from Pittsburgh after our bike ride? I bet he would rather work into September and start in April than get all of his tourism money in one frantic summer period. Going off season makes tourists less annoying and decreases our impact on fragile environments, whether that comes in hiking a popular route (but, you know, be safe. Don't try to solo-hike a 14k mountain at the end of the season) or causing massive congestion from idling buses. Also, you know, usually flights and accommodations are cheaper off season, so...win-win.</li>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yeah. You culturally and environmentally sensitive badass.</td></tr>
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<li><b> Visit big cities. </b>Cities get a bad rap. But major destination cities like New York, London and Singapore can easily accommodate tourists without much impact. People living in Queens don't really notice or care if there's an elevator full of people going to the top of the Empire State building. Small or mid-sized cities, though, like Venice, can easily become overwhelmed by swarms of tourists and would appreciate you going off season, like April, or finding a substitute for at least part of your trip, like Verona or Padua/Padova.</li>
<li><b>Stay put. </b>I remember the flight home from my first international trip, three weeks in Kaohsiung Taiwan as part of a cultural enrichment program...for the Taiwanese kids. On the way back, my seat mate told me how he had just finished a whirlwind trip through Asia, checking off countries over the course of days. I told him how mostly I had stayed in Kaohsiung and the local areas, but I had been invited to a wedding for a friend of my host family, I had gotten to sit in on calligraphy lessons with the other high school kids, and how we had gone to a water park and the <a href="https://www.aliexpress.com/item/New-Sports-Athletic-Swimwear-Bodysuits-One-Piece-Swimsuit-Swimming-Tight-Women-Swimming-Long-Leg-Boyshorts/32797380686.html?spm=2114.search0104.3.32.13a358c60zM5hl&ws_ab_test=searchweb0_0,searchweb201602_3_10152_10151_10065_10344_10130_10068_10324_10547_10342_10325_10546_10343_10340_10548_10341_315_10545_10696_10084_531_10083_10618_10307_10059_100031_10103_10624_10623_10622_10621_10620,searchweb201603_55,ppcSwitch_5&algo_expid=3e75cecd-5c27-44be-b09e-c90258c8e2af-4&algo_pvid=3e75cecd-5c27-44be-b09e-c90258c8e2af&priceBeautifyAB=0" target="_blank">short-length women's swimsuits</a> there that baffled me. I was a little jealous of his skimming trip, but as I've gotten older, I think I prefer the other kind of travel, one that is less intent on <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Scratch-Off-World-Map-Poster/dp/B01IIF4L9Y" target="_blank">scratching countries off my map</a> and more on spending time getting to know a place and its people.<br /><b></b></li>
<li><b>Pair high-low. </b>In the fashion world, pairing, say, Burberry coat with Forever 21 boots (or, in my case, a Target swimsuit with some gas station flip flops) is a clever way to maximize fashion and minimize cost. You can do the same thing by combining Very High tourist attractions with Very Low accommodations and eating. Here's the thing about big tourist attractions: everyone knows that they're for tourists. That's why the tourists are there. There aren't going to be any Frenchmen and -women frowning disgruntled at the base of the Eiffel Tower grumbling, "Sacre bleu, this used to be such a quiet little meeting place." Big tourist sites know what they are and are built to accommodate the crowds. Adding a few more tourists to them doesn't make much of a difference. They're like the Big Cities of #3. Restaurants, local hotels and mid-sized attractions, however, can be easily overrun by tourists. The saddest place this mid-level crush happens, for me, is churches. I adore visiting the great religious sites of where ever I go, but I always feel a little uncomfortable when tourists squirm around the edges of worshipers, taking pictures and then stumbling out into the sunlight. But even churches can do the high-low pairing, having "visiting hours" and hours that are reserved for devotees only. When I lived in Austin, knowing that SXSW would happen let me know to either avoid downtown, get out of town or just join in with the crowds. I knew where and when the out-of-towners would be here and could plan for them the same way you would, say, the scorching weeks of August in Central Texas. Having designated places and times for tourism helps locals know what to expect and lets them plan accordingly.<br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="Image result for quito church" class="irc_mi" height="400" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-86Vwv30yEA0/VxeeHcfDc7I/AAAAAAABNAo/8l91LQ4wrPs/s72-c/compania-de-jesus-quito-86.jpg?imgmax=1600" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 0px;" width="400" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What's the seating capacity?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</li>
<li><b>Respect and support necessary limits. </b>Even though I've talked a good talk about how we shouldn't be pumping the breaks on tourism, I still believe that there can be meaningful limits and restrictions that will make everyone's experience better off. I'm from the American West, within a day's distance of six national parks, and from the <i>Desert Solitaire </i>days of my youth, I've been totally okay with the idea that some places can issue limited permits or set quotas or tell you to <i>GET OFF THE CRYPTOBIOTIC SOIL! </i>I'm okay with imposing these kinds of limits on environmentally sensitive areas to support the ecosystem and for cultural and social sites as well.The Scrovegni Chapel by Giotto is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen, so I'm okay with reserving a couple of months in advance, refraining from flash photography, and watching an informative video in a <a href="http://www.cappelladegliscrovegni.it/index.php/en/information/how-to-visit" target="_blank">microclimate-stablization room</a>. Which brings me to...</li>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="Image result for Scrovegni" class="irc_mi" height="400" src="https://www.visitabanomontegrotto.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/Cappella-degli-Scrovegni-a-Padova1-812x400.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top: 27px;" width="812" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Permit required</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<li><b>Be Prepared. </b>One of the hallmarks of an Ugly Tourist is bumbling. Again, because of my own outdoorsy tourist backyard, I'm used to seeing the terrible fallout of unprepared folks skylarking by themselves around the desert with no water and no communication. The same thing goes with all tourism--it pays dividends to do a little homework before traveling. I'm not saying you need to be fluent in Mayan dialects before going to Ecuador, but it wouldn't hurt to be able to understand a phrase or two in Spanish. Knowing what it meant when my classmate held my hand in Taiwan, or why Moroccans like their current king much more than the last guy helped me out of some sticky cultural situations. But sometimes the preparation is physical, too. Look, relying on the kindness of strangers (or just figuring out how to get tampons at a Czech drug store) is one of the charms of traveling, but don't make yourself a risk to yourself or others by getting airlifted off a mountain or arrested for drug charges abroad.</li>
<li><b>Invite tourists to your home. </b>Maybe you want to learn more about other cultures and experiences, but you don't want to travel. Welcoming study abroad students or
renting an AirBNB room or even just welcoming friends of friends to stay
for the weekend can be a tourism-in-reverse experience. I remember in
junior high, my parents hosted an <i>actual Italian opera student</i> at
our house (per my cousin's request). I have a vague memory that she ran
up phone bills, but it was a remarkable experience for me. She made us
real pizza and even visited my 7th grade choir class to teach us about
singing from the diaphragm. It was remarkable experience for me, one
that was repeated with Geraldine, my sister's foreign exchange partner,
and the stream of international students my friend's family hosted. Even without formal programs, you could, as one of my friends always did, host Thanksgiving with Indian (the subcontinent) graduate students or invite a recent immigrant family for a potluck. And
bringing someone into your home can be a great way to get to know their
culture while revisiting your own with new eyes. </li>
<li> <b>Find the tourism around you. </b>Okay, if you're <i>really </i>determined to stay home, don't let that discourage you from being a tourist. Fight the adage that people from the West Coast are more likely to see the Statue of Liberty than the Grand Canyon while people from the East Coast do the same thing in reverse. Many people can live years in their hometown without discovering the attractions and pleasure that tourists would catch on the first week. And because I'm a fan of prioritizing people over pictures, may I recommend especially engaging with cultures of your home? I live in Houston, which is extremely diverse, but Texas is, itself, a fascinating culture as well. So I am honored that I was invited to a Tet celebration lion dance (even though I didn't understand anything people around me were saying and I was seated right next to the cymbal section of the band), but I'm also awed by the experience of attending the <a href="https://www.rodeohouston.com/" target="_blank">Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo</a> and visiting the world of dairy cow competitions and sheepdog trials and drugstore cowboy apparel. In an increasingly divided country, this kind of tourism, too, can be a political act.</li>
</ol>
So there you have it, another travel list. So where does this leave me and Croatia? It's still on my travel list--I'm all kinds of prepared and I'm willing to pair the freakishly trendy Dubrovnik with less popular nearby destinations (one of my friends just finished hiking Bosnia, which looked amazing)--but I don't need to go right now that it's blowing up the Instagram. There are plenty of other adventures that I'm considering like hitting the Baltics instead of the Balkans (Slavic culture? Check. Boundaries of clashing cultures? Check. Communist history? Check.) or going back to Puerto Rico to spend some quality time in a place that I've already "scratched off' (and a tiny one at that), but that has deep personal and family importance to my husband. Let's not give up on the transformative power of tourism for all parties. mlhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06897457666469917298noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4716342550760162208.post-86707575353451143732018-04-14T08:39:00.000-07:002018-04-14T08:39:07.896-07:00Three Horror Movies that Stuck the Landing, Three that Wiffed It and How They Could Have Been Better--Nothing But Spoilers<b>Literally this entire post is spoilers. There.</b><br />
<br />
<b> </b>There are many things that can cause disappointment in a horror movie. Cheesy acting. Gross-out cheap thrills. Bad special effects. But the one that always slays me (no pun intended) is when a movie is saying <i>really interesting things </i>and then falls completely apart in the last ten minutes, not because the monster looks disappointing to what you imagined (they often do), but because of a lack of thematic consistency. A good horror movie is always about the monsters that we experience in real life as much as those that lurk on screen; great horror movie finishes the job it started with some internal consistency.<br />
<br />
Here are three horror movies that really stuck the landing, in no particular order, chosen at more-or-less random from my Saturday morning nap. I could have found others, but these sprung to mind as having particularly satisfying endings:<br />
<br />
<b>Night of the Living Dead</b><br />
<br />
<i>Theme: </i>The individual, no matter how competent, is no match for the brainless masses.<br />
<b> </b><br />
<i>Plot bearing this out: </i>When a microcasm of personalities is trapped in a farmhouse, faced with the leagues of the undead, a power struggle for who gets to decide what to do breaks out. But despite a war of personalities inside, the thread outside is without personality. They are pajama-clad, naked, decomposing corpses with zero plan or coordination. And they're winning.<br />
<br />
<i>Nailed it: </i>Although our hero, through his wits and courage, manages to survive the night, when the day dawns he is mistaken for a ghoul and shot in the head. And what gets him? A posse of slack-jawed yokels, roving through the countryside, shooting anything that moves, perfectly mirroring the mindlessness of the undead horde, and just as efficient.<br />
<br />
<b>A Quiet Place</b><br />
<br />
<i>Theme: </i>It is really hard to protect and nurture family in the face of danger.<br />
<b> </b><br />
<i>Plot bearing this out:<b> </b></i>Well, the characters right out say it, but even then, from the beginning, it is clear that children, from unborn infants to surly teenagers, are a liability in the face of a lurking destruction that confronts them all. But for all that, children are also a reason, <i>the reason</i>, to keep surviving. An elderly man whose wife is killed commits suicide in a scream. The Abbotts, on the other hand, teach their children not only how to survive in this new world, but how to care for each other in the process.<br />
<br />
<i>Nailed it: </i>There is no more "protect and nurture" image than that of brother cradling baby while mom and sister double-team tormenting and shotgunning monsters to obliteration. The family has finally become able to be on the attack, not just sneaking around surviving, but becoming active heroes to actually save the world, which leads to...<br />
<br />
<b>10 Cloverfield Lane</b><br />
<br />
<i>Theme: </i>You are stronger than you know, and you can fight harder than you think.<br />
<b> </b><br />
<i>Plot bearing this out: </i>Michelle survives, in order, a car accident, a madman, and freaky-deacky aliens. But all along the way, she doubts whether it wouldn't be easier just to stop fighting and die--or just settle into a banal comfort. After all, board games and tinned food isn't all that bad, especially when you're the favorite, right?<br />
<br />
<i>Nailed it: </i>After doing <i>whatever it takes</i> to escape and just survive, Michelle, screeching down an empty road to get the heck out of dodge, hears on the radio that there are more monsters--and survivors-- down another road. She continues on her safe path a moment, then puts it in reverse, and goes speeding into danger to use her new fighting ability and confidence to help others.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
And now for some horror movies that were doing so well, until they sucked it up in the last ten minutes or so. Again, just for emphasis, I don't mean "the monster was a little disappointing after all the hype" (<i>1408</i>, <i>The Ritual</i>, etc.) or even "it was internally consistent, but I wasn't wowed by their particular level of insight by the end" (<i>Mama</i>, <i>Cabin in the Woods</i>). This is full-blown "Wow, this movie is saying some really important things...oh, wait, no they just ruined everything."<br />
<br />
<b>The Last Exorcism</b><br />
<br />
<i>Theme: </i>That classic of Greek theater: the hubris of man in the face of supernatural forces he doesn't understand.<br />
<b> </b><br />
<i>Plot bearing this out</i>: Rev. Cotton Mathis thinks his parishioners are patsies and has an even lower opinion of the folk to hire him to before exorcisms. In this mock documentary, Mathis gleefully lets the crew into his use of stereos, special effects and other modes of hoodwinking hillbillies as one last "screw you" before leaving the church. But this time Nell seems actually, factually possessed.<br />
<br />
<i>How they screwed it up: </i>Literal Satan-worshipping hicks. Literal everybody dies. Literal "shaking found footage that you are supposed to believe was somehow saved so you can watch this film now" (THEN WHO WAS DOING ALL THE EDITING UP UNTIL THIS POINT?!)<br />
<br />
<i>How it should have ended: </i>2/3rds of the way, Mathis starts hearing voices telling him that if he literally sacrifices himself, the girl will be released. He doesn't know whether the voices are angels or demons, but he knows it doesn't come from the stereo. He kills himself in a ritual that does not look anything Southern Baptist, and dies horrified to think that he might be dragged down to hell, now that he is more convinced of the reality of the concept. The crew, mortified, tries to stop him, but it's too late. They have to struggle with their journalistic integrity and the horror of what they have witnessed. They're going to complete the documentary and dedicate it to his memory.<br />
<br />
<b>Lights Out</b><br />
<br />
<i>Theme: </i>Mental illness affects whole families<b>.</b><br />
<br />
<i>Plot bearing this out: </i>A young woman, estranged from her erratic mother, comes back home to protect her half-brother when it becomes clear Mom isn't taking her pills and her "imaginary" friend is showing upr. She first tries the usual, real-world courses of action, talking with CPS, that sort of stuff, but then it becomes clear that "Diana" is more real and more powerful than she expected, responsible for killing both her dad and her brother's dad out of jealousy. Diana insists on dominating her mother, pushing out any time, energy or attention<b> </b>for the family.<br />
<br />
<i>How they screwed it up: </i>The only way, the mom concludes, is to kill herself. Wait, wait! While I was in favor of the selfish person self-sacrificing in <i>The Last Exorcism</i>, this is a <i>terrible</i>, even dangerous, way to end a movie about mental illness. Even director Sandberg realized in retrospect that he was telling people with depression that shooting themselves was the only way to protect their families, and he regretted it.<br />
<br />
<i>How it should have ended: </i>Like many of the best family dramas, young Rebecca should have been threatened by the possibility that her mother's demons would become her own. Diana shows up at Rebecca's apartment and starts making demands. After all, the mom's middle-aged and if Diana wants to live forever, she's going to want to find a new host. Rebecca's obnoxiously loyal and long-suffering boyfriend, and her half-brother and, in a scene healing a scarred childhood, her mother, all intervene to trap Diana and incinerate her. Rebecca has greater empathy for the struggles of her mother and regrets not being able to have rescued her years ago. Her mother, for her part, regrets not being more open about Diana instead of trying to "protect the children."<br />
<br />
<b>Winchester</b><br />
<br />
<i>Theme: </i>Guns are bad.<br />
<b> </b><br />
<i>Plot bearing this out: </i>Old widow Winchester spends her not-inconsiderable fortune building a mansion to appease the dead who have been killed with the family rifle design. Major plot points all center on what happens when a gun ends up in the hands of, respectively, a depressed person, a child, a drug addict, and a really, really angry young man. There are smaller glimpses of the wider impact of gun violence with slavery and colonialism. It's none of it good. <br />
<br />
<i>How they screwed it up: </i>Which is why it's weird that the solution is to literally shoot the ghost. With a gun. With a bullet.<br />
<br />
<i>How it should have ended: </i>Surely creative types could come up with something better than a literal magic bullet. Me, I'm in favor of some ghost-on-ghost violence. Sarah Winchester releases some of those other angry spirits, ideally some of the ones who would have beef with a Confederate ghost and they end up endlessly tormenting him in some nice locked up room that includes architectural elements from both/all of their lives. Or maybe being confronted with a grief just as powerful and real as his own, evil ghost Ben decides that he doesn't have the monopoly on anger and just passes on.<br />
<br />
<br />
And there you have it. Don't take us most of the way down an interesting premise and then ruin in the last ten minutes. Yes, there are other things you can do to stink up a movie (both poorly reviewed Winchester and the superb A Quiet Place have too many unnecessary jump-scares), but since we're going to be replaying the end of a scary movie in our heads for days, make sure that it's something worth sticking in there.<br />
<br />
<br />mlhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06897457666469917298noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4716342550760162208.post-80211386015034684562017-10-03T10:04:00.001-07:002017-10-03T10:04:22.056-07:00Some Ramblings on Evil, Halloween Movies, the "Great Physician," and "This Political Climate"<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTl3oa9Q2K1e-EIKDHiS1wWRVuCKTJJlkNuCwYQq8gsKYwhG5jA" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Image result" border="0" class="irc_mi" height="320" src="https://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTl3oa9Q2K1e-EIKDHiS1wWRVuCKTJJlkNuCwYQq8gsKYwhG5jA" style="margin-top: 0px;" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">[This movie poster is misleading, because there's far more naked ugly
ladies and goats and other early Colonial goosebumps and (fun fact!) the
dialogue comes from actual transcripts of witch hunts!] </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
One of the most spiritually meaningful R-sie movies about Colonial America I ever saw was <i>The Witch</i>, or as I like to call it <i>The VVitch</i>. All kinds of spoilers here that don't matter to the enjoyment of the film, but the general plot is that a family, exiled from the settlement, because of their father's heterodox ideas, finds themselves on the edge of a dark forest. A literal witch literally steals and literally eats their baby, which is bad news all the time, but this dumb family blames their teenage daughter, who does regular teenagery things like tries to scare her annoying siblings. But everything she's done becomes interpreted as witchcraft and one-by-one everyone in her family begins to turn against her. But the main thing is that everyone --total spoiler--dies horrible deaths and the teenage daughter, alone in the woods, with nowhere to turn uncertain whether there are witches says aloud that she wants to sign in with the devil and join the witches. Which she does. (Or "Witch she does"?)<br />
<br />
The striking thing for me is that this stupid family <i>is </i>right; there are witches. It's just the witch is in the woods and not in the home. Let that sentence sink in a little: the witch is in the woods and not in the home.<br />
<br />
There is a lot of awful and a lot of evil in this world, but it comes from Lucifer, "our common enemy," and not from each other, per se. It's not popular to talk about Satan and there's shaky doctrinal bedrocks on the topic, but here's my own take on it, informed, at least, by Mormonism. When you watch movies like <i>The Possession of Emily Rose </i>("Possession is 9/10ths of the law!"), you think of evil spirits possessing people as contortionists who love speaking backwards in Latin and freaking out people in remote areas. But if you saw a possession like that, it would be pretty hard to deny that something supernatural was happening and then it's a natural progression to believe in supernatural good (e.g. God). More likely, evil spirits lead people to thinking, "I'm smarter than she is," "That's none of my business," and "There's nothing wrong with what I'm doing." They are not insignificant thoughts. These kinds of thoughts, building on each other, lead to everything from great acts of depravity to everyday snotty brattitude.<br />
<br />
But think about how dramatic these possession movies are. What if you lived a life of such kindness and generosity that a snide comment or a selfish act would be as unusual as walking up the side of the walls backwards on your hands and knees? What if you assumed that when someone did something snotty, it wasn't because they naturally <i>were </i>a snot, but because there was some circumstance or influence making them act like a snot? Would you be as eager as a scare-night exorcist to help them and heal them?<br />
<br />
Christ fashioned himself as the "Great Physician," but many people in politics, religion and culture are looking to be executioners, cutting others off forever. Executioners do their job behind a mask, never closer than an axe's length, while a physician stands close, even TMI-close, to the body of the sick. That was the great downfall of the family in <i>The VVitch</i>--once they let themselves think that no one else could be a witch beside their daughter, their daughter had to be the witch. They cut her off. And while attempted filicide aside, this young woman finds no other choice than to become what she has been made into. There's a classic stalker-management book called <i>The Gift of Fear</i> that describes how to deal with a spoken threat after someone loses their job. Instead of calling security and having them publicly dragged out by armed men, you sigh and say, "I know you only said that because you're upset right now; you're too good of a person for that." (They also recommend firing people on Friday afternoons, so they have an entire "normal" weekend to process their feelings instead of stewing at home alone--pro tip!) The idea being that when you make someone the Bad Guy, you escalate the situation and make it difficult for them to back down. In fact, it may increase the stakes for them--they already have a blot against them, so why not go whole hog? When you're a physician, you anticipate someone getting well again; when you're an executioner, you're only waiting for them to stop twitching so you can go home.<br />
<br />
And the ironic thing is that I think this family could have taken the witches if they hadn't been fighting each other. They never thought to look for the witch outside their family and instantly forgot all the good their daughter had done before this witch hunt began. I like to imagine an alternative ending where the family says "Hell, no" (pun intended), gather their pitchforks, and drive out that witch. Probably wouldn't have been as good a movie, but it's what we need right now. There's enough sorrow, suffering, pain and sickness out there that we need everyone. We can't afford to look for witches in the walls of our homes.<br />
<br />mlhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06897457666469917298noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4716342550760162208.post-9477598908141625532017-07-28T10:25:00.000-07:002017-07-28T11:12:35.650-07:00DIY animal bookends<br />
Okay, so here I give back to the Internet, but this is more of an apology to Krystian because this took longer than I meant it to be. I thought I'd do this with my 10-year-old niece when she was visiting, but it took a lot longer than I thought.<br />
<br />
It started simply enough with three dollar store toys--two deer and a polar bear. The polar bear split nicely in two with a little effort and a pair of scissors.<br />
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Once the bears were split, that's when things got hard mostly because my first kind of spray
paint never seemed to dry in the Houston humidity. So maybe not the
primer and paint in one for this. Then, after much shame, I just got the
<a href="http://www.homedepot.com/p/Rust-Oleum-Stops-Rust-11-oz-Antique-Brass-Protective-Enamel-Metallic-Spray-Paint-7274830/100205665" target="_blank">regular kind</a>, which worked great. Or maybe it's just better drying outside than in the garage.<br />
<br />
Anyway, about a month of neglect later, I spray-painted the things, but it was okay because in that time our neighbors had replaced their fence! This means SCRAP WOOD! Just what I had been looking for. I also would have taken river rocks, but this is Houston, I didn't want to steal from anyone's landscape.<br />
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I cut up some fence-post ends and 2x4s with my reciprocating saw and stained them with one of those awesome stain wipes I was telling you about. Then, when they were dry, I glued my animals on.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjfTOyIg4kExqCYZDiZ831R_bYNPyRRZzVGZT9od5SC26LfZieC1kbpO9mA26eRafo33zgomBoNJstvr3FaeN7p1QofjlK_1bQjrhiSvqhQEHrNuUMPgMRCm44rkpP11vtsGpPPm2pZQ/s1600/deer.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjfTOyIg4kExqCYZDiZ831R_bYNPyRRZzVGZT9od5SC26LfZieC1kbpO9mA26eRafo33zgomBoNJstvr3FaeN7p1QofjlK_1bQjrhiSvqhQEHrNuUMPgMRCm44rkpP11vtsGpPPm2pZQ/s320/deer.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNLSp3WvNzJZd6JKTa7SmxADspf-9yw9yU3xTqyl5NLb0s1R33iqq9gAX60Kk9BryLlPv-p-hqAhAxbgzaBpGXvTWK8Im4KZocchiQuO06wH4mjbZ9WUAZwHJxNa4i5_H5vHeCd7wfvQ/s1600/bear.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNLSp3WvNzJZd6JKTa7SmxADspf-9yw9yU3xTqyl5NLb0s1R33iqq9gAX60Kk9BryLlPv-p-hqAhAxbgzaBpGXvTWK8Im4KZocchiQuO06wH4mjbZ9WUAZwHJxNa4i5_H5vHeCd7wfvQ/s320/bear.JPG" width="320" /></a><br />
The deer looks very handsome, but also a little like a trophy. I wonder if I should put a plaque on it.<br />
<br />
If you're worried about the wood being heavy enough, you could always drill a hole in the bottom and weigh it down with marbles, Pinewood Derby style. Or you could just glue some washers on the back. Personally, though, I find the pine is heavy enough as is.<br />
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The bear had to be glued in two places--the bottom and the side, and the 2x4s also had to be glued in an L-shape bookend. I quite like this one, though.<br />
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Krystian says it looks like a wiener dog bear.mlhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06897457666469917298noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4716342550760162208.post-86329436681888977482017-07-28T10:08:00.001-07:002017-07-28T10:50:09.392-07:00DIY wood poster hangers<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYu-QVrgdezu41X976v1g0mMndCIfCZK55x9ZRGmJYUy5qqee8tUW17K14mLtELXyx4lzrF3wqfjLMnkxxUfGfCF6rhM2v4v0z6AHMxynMo7U2e5cXkZYJrrnvNb4AwtzCYVze2jsfHg/s1600/IMG_6356.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYu-QVrgdezu41X976v1g0mMndCIfCZK55x9ZRGmJYUy5qqee8tUW17K14mLtELXyx4lzrF3wqfjLMnkxxUfGfCF6rhM2v4v0z6AHMxynMo7U2e5cXkZYJrrnvNb4AwtzCYVze2jsfHg/s320/IMG_6356.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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I've been doing a lot of DIY lately because</div>
<ol>
<li>Summer</li>
<li>I now own a house</li>
<li>I am cheap</li>
</ol>
Because of this, I spend a lot of time Googling and Pinterest-searching DIY projects that I think ought to exist. Usually they do. Sometimes they don't. When they don't I have to do my darnest to make it up.<br />
<br />
Now, while I'm waiting for some wood glue to dry, I've decided it's time to give back to the Internet. I don't think anyone is going to find these, but they might.<br />
<br />
So first project came because I found some awesome vintage style posters, but then when I looked up poster hangers, you get something like <a href="https://www.papersource.com/item/Cavallini-Horizontal-Vintage-Poster-Kit/900121.html?cm_mmc=google-_-404390177-_-25835825177-_-CID_88130390657&gclid=Cj0KCQjwwevLBRCGARIsAKnAJvcus_APLe7j4MG4BcmTR9YFoG-FJMXr6cjcXDKsni-DVjTbUhvH-gUaAjUpEALw_wcB" target="_blank">this</a>. Look, you don't have to follow the link, I'll tell you:<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="description" itemprop="description">Includes: • Two 29"
half round oak dowels • Pre-attached cord and nail for hanging •
Easy-peel adhesive for mounting your favorite Cavallini wrap • Mounting
instructions</span></span></div>
</blockquote>
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And it's $15. Plus $7 shipping. F-H-no! They are charging you $15 for DOWELS!</div>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwVtHsbF5gCVQkChr13T4KOMDIByPjGBzZ8VNLXgi_gwQRrP5AYjxWKHTLrIqf4KJi905wtib9I3hJZ_Ub6RIH1Uujc2U_S_-Kl-XtdMVi3xftxYZCqFJ-bbu5cBQ64RdYxZm_PSvbCg/s1600/IMG_6349.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwVtHsbF5gCVQkChr13T4KOMDIByPjGBzZ8VNLXgi_gwQRrP5AYjxWKHTLrIqf4KJi905wtib9I3hJZ_Ub6RIH1Uujc2U_S_-Kl-XtdMVi3xftxYZCqFJ-bbu5cBQ64RdYxZm_PSvbCg/s320/IMG_6349.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">quarter-inch molding</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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So I went to Home Depot. Or Lowe's. Something like that. I got these sweet <a href="http://www.homedepot.com/p/Woodgrain-Millwork-WM-108-1-2-in-x-1-2-in-Solid-Pine-Quarter-Round-Moulding-10000698/205984191" target="_blank">quarter round moldings</a> for a couple bucks. Then I measured out my posters, added an inch for overlap and cut them and stained them. Because I was going with more of a "gentleman naturalist" vibe than "seventh-grade bio class," I used a mahogany stain. </div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6JN1HcDdlkHyDbSiB-RHlb8-Gps4x88t4rwtCiBER-ony1wg-kb6bnjaWleOOWju8ikIxFWFVuNNpmV6CvWatp2nO4COMyUVg0NHyoZ-OIj0zJzSk4-pzdeXG8pbxH-au2S12g_5Zag/s1600/IMG_6350.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6JN1HcDdlkHyDbSiB-RHlb8-Gps4x88t4rwtCiBER-ony1wg-kb6bnjaWleOOWju8ikIxFWFVuNNpmV6CvWatp2nO4COMyUVg0NHyoZ-OIj0zJzSk4-pzdeXG8pbxH-au2S12g_5Zag/s320/IMG_6350.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Staining the wood</td></tr>
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Specifically, I used this <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CNUSU6G/ref=asc_df_B00CNUSU6G5096614/?tag=hyprod-20&creative=394997&creativeASIN=B00CNUSU6G&linkCode=df0&hvadid=167138874211&hvpos=1o3&hvnetw=g&hvrand=18391290711789916185&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9027797&hvtargid=pla-309606696372" target="_blank">kind of finish</a>, which rocks my socks off--stain in a WIPE. They include gloves, which I used, but you can also just stick your hands in a grocery bag, if you're going to be doing this not all in one day. When you finish, turn the back inside out--viola! </div>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFQw3NrftJo-Jzb-4WigomalYa8SZkEu-l1MCTDZ9cOE2xvl_-zgI7HE8VmHeAJeTo6uAvNZSGvHD0dUmVWiow3UzFwQpSB-i6FSKKyfvMF8az0HsQu3UOoVr9j3H69qQaoUNquzCQNg/s1600/IMG_6352.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFQw3NrftJo-Jzb-4WigomalYa8SZkEu-l1MCTDZ9cOE2xvl_-zgI7HE8VmHeAJeTo6uAvNZSGvHD0dUmVWiow3UzFwQpSB-i6FSKKyfvMF8az0HsQu3UOoVr9j3H69qQaoUNquzCQNg/s320/IMG_6352.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Be careful to glue evenly as possible</td></tr>
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Then, instead of easy-peel adhesive, I just used glue. Wood glue because I love it, but I think you could use a good dose of Elmer's to the same effect. I did most with the second flat side AWAY from the main picture (so flat side top on the top and bottom on the bottom) to give it a smoother look, and to insert the hooks later like this:</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYMahoGgoM25kvfcTWAMJ9tkPdzGJOFeVYlcwkWitRKYe4DhPjcF7LbWhOi13lNkaWp26Ytcilrq4LLW106TUk28F0s8mcftCsInbfweS4TDka5T1nH4JydF6-FoON1nFbWxYHlavL3A/s1600/IMG_6353.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYMahoGgoM25kvfcTWAMJ9tkPdzGJOFeVYlcwkWitRKYe4DhPjcF7LbWhOi13lNkaWp26Ytcilrq4LLW106TUk28F0s8mcftCsInbfweS4TDka5T1nH4JydF6-FoON1nFbWxYHlavL3A/s320/IMG_6353.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Flat side down on the bottom</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
But for the map, I wanted to be able to keep a pencil there. Lets guests mark where they're from that way:<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEpFRGdIhWye88WP7m9Q2Whkuxf7heTV6fFIWKWNOxTQD4l0QXs71WIQwaakIyo6dptdZ0Oe6ruAEWgdqU6Rsn6PEAFriVgLvjO4jjJaPfGtzoRvDu9MR7MnrHQ04rb87zCRoa8LKQyA/s1600/IMG_6359.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEpFRGdIhWye88WP7m9Q2Whkuxf7heTV6fFIWKWNOxTQD4l0QXs71WIQwaakIyo6dptdZ0Oe6ruAEWgdqU6Rsn6PEAFriVgLvjO4jjJaPfGtzoRvDu9MR7MnrHQ04rb87zCRoa8LKQyA/s320/IMG_6359.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Flat side up on the bottom</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
On the top, I put in screw eyes on the top flat side and tied on twine. For a step more steampunk, you could use copper wire.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2UOJ-vNWXXFZMeTQcr23O2QmGgxNYJXYPrCbkdSBb4GQZilQQ9hNO5UZjX9BWun39qK3YWIL1zSwqSfKTuYdxgPFd58BlLkxC0YZbAtDauB_hJVWZuxTybLwignBndhvedGr84AECng/s1600/IMG_6355.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2UOJ-vNWXXFZMeTQcr23O2QmGgxNYJXYPrCbkdSBb4GQZilQQ9hNO5UZjX9BWun39qK3YWIL1zSwqSfKTuYdxgPFd58BlLkxC0YZbAtDauB_hJVWZuxTybLwignBndhvedGr84AECng/s320/IMG_6355.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdyRstHySNbDqrWMHsb2wFL3Vlc_nRhyulPtxaZhj4HclffcwNSha5XeJ-aac-PBg9CGKGDt6EBa3pmoiVJXEzocIRIxzhV5cAYCQiQrtpmfsae3y9rY3nzXZ_bZGYBaEBowfEaOcQQg/s1600/map.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdyRstHySNbDqrWMHsb2wFL3Vlc_nRhyulPtxaZhj4HclffcwNSha5XeJ-aac-PBg9CGKGDt6EBa3pmoiVJXEzocIRIxzhV5cAYCQiQrtpmfsae3y9rY3nzXZ_bZGYBaEBowfEaOcQQg/s320/map.JPG" width="320" /></a><br />
For a more rustic look, I skipped the screws, and just tied the twine to each end.<br />
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And here's the ones with the screw eyes:<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYu-QVrgdezu41X976v1g0mMndCIfCZK55x9ZRGmJYUy5qqee8tUW17K14mLtELXyx4lzrF3wqfjLMnkxxUfGfCF6rhM2v4v0z6AHMxynMo7U2e5cXkZYJrrnvNb4AwtzCYVze2jsfHg/s1600/IMG_6356.JPG" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYu-QVrgdezu41X976v1g0mMndCIfCZK55x9ZRGmJYUy5qqee8tUW17K14mLtELXyx4lzrF3wqfjLMnkxxUfGfCF6rhM2v4v0z6AHMxynMo7U2e5cXkZYJrrnvNb4AwtzCYVze2jsfHg/s320/IMG_6356.JPG" width="320" /></a><br />
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So there you have it. Three portrait and 2 landscape posters hung (and enough extra hangers for 2 more posters, when I find more I like). Whole project cost me around $24, including extra screw eyes and LOTS of extra stain, which you will see in all of the next projects.<br />
<br />mlhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06897457666469917298noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4716342550760162208.post-20613061622523971172016-11-09T08:52:00.001-08:002016-11-09T08:52:51.642-08:00Processing the Election, Hillbillies and Two and a Half MenWell, we guessed wrong.<br />
<br />
The only questions were whether it would a close election or a landslide, and whether Trump would concede, and what to do with the angry people when he didn't concede, and how Clinton would start a presidency with such ill will. We didn't anticipate this.<br />
<br />
We didn't, in fact, a Trump candidacy. I feel as though the whole nation is now as blindsided as the GOP was when Trump starting picking off establishment Republicans from Jeb Bush to Ted Cruz (man, did I just write Cruz was establishment? weird...). How could we not have seen this coming?<br />
<br />
The "it" book of the political season <i>Hillbilly Elegy </i>is part biography, part political commentary and does a good deal to describe the hidden America of migrants from Appalachia who settled into the steel towns of Ohio and Pennsylvania, then got lost as a changing economy made it impossible to get a good-paying job without a college degree. The book is lauded from across the political spectrum as it comes to a variety of conclusions about who these people (read: voters) are: Democrats let working class voters down; "personal spirituality" fails to provide the safety net organized religion does; the information economy leaves undereducated people in the dust; drug treatment facilities are under funded and arrest drug users does nothing to help them or their families; etc. For many people, this is the first time someone from the so-called hillbilly culture has let them into their world.<br />
<br />
I'm not the first (hundreth) person to point out that we live in a cultural echo chamber, but this election has reminded me of what I called the <i>Two and A Half Men</i> blinder. <i>Two and a Half Men </i>for those of you who don't know (my likely readers), was a profane and insane sitcom that I could only stomach for fifteen minutes, once, at the gym. It was also the most popular show in America. I didn't get it. I literally did not know a single person who watched the show. And I asked around.<br />
<br />
Alternatively, all my friends, and I mean all of them, watched <i>30 Rock</i>. Even the people who bragged about not watching TV had seen a few episodes. And while <i>30 Rock </i>did okay for itself, it was notorious the "also-ran" of ratings. Talking with my friends, I would have thought <i>30 Rock</i> would be the most popular show on TV--it was funny, smart, politically aware, but not too preachy.<br />
<br />
<i>Two and A Half Men</i> should have predicted this election. We should have been more aware that "our" America isn't just ours.mlhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06897457666469917298noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4716342550760162208.post-21275465739199974832016-10-13T20:25:00.000-07:002016-10-13T20:25:10.831-07:00Simple and Powerful Discipleship /or/ You Don't Have to Become a Martyr to Be a Saint
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The following is the talk I wrote for church last week. I stayed up until 1 am because I got so excited to write it. It's called Simple and Powerful Discipleship, but I like to call it, "You don't have to become a martyr to be a saint." </div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt;">I’m
Mary Hedengren Perez and my husband Krystian and I moved into the ward just a
couple of months ago. He spoke last month. I serve as Primary secretary and
Krystian works with the Priests and Cub Scouts. We were extremely grateful to
receive these callings because, due to a series of unusual circumstances, we
had gone the nearly 4 months since we were married without callings in the
church. This disappointed us because we were looking forward to serving in a
family ward. We certainly had “real callings” in our singles ward, but we were
eager to widen the range of our service. We speculated endlessly, wondering
whether we would serve the youth, the children or even the babies. We spoke
with friends of ours who had callings like Stake Youth Dance DJ, callings
which we had never even contemplated.</span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt;">The
church affords us many opportunities to build the kingdom of God through
callings, serving our families and developing personal spirituality. This work
is increasingly urgent.</span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt;">Bonnie
Oscarson, the Young Women’s President, reminded us in this most recent general
conference that we are blessed to have the fulness of the gospel, but we are
also beset with “perilous times.” Under such circumstances, half-hearted work
in the kingdom will not suffice. What, then, should we do?</span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt;">First
though, President Oscarson points out, we need to strengthen our own
testimonies in the basics of the gospel. We need to develop unshakable
testimonies in the divinity of Christ and His role in the plan of salvation. We
need to be able to bear strong witness of Joseph Smith’s prophetic role in
bringing forth the restoration of the gospel. We need to seek and find the
significance of our temple covenants and blessings. Though powerful testimonies
of Christ, the restoration and the temple ordinances, we can serve and teach
with a powerful spirit.</span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt;">It’s
not enough just to have testimonies, though: we must commit to the acts that
will demonstrate our conversion. Just as we need to develop powerful
testimonies, we need to commit to powerful acts of discipleship. That was one
of my favorite things about Bonnie Oscarson’s talk: she emphasized that these
are not the days for rinky-dinky discipleship.</span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt;">Before
I dig into the ways that Sis. Oscarson called us to actively follow Christ, let
me take a sidebar to say what these powerful acts of discipleship are not.
Powerful acts of discipleship do not make you needlessly a martyr. They do not
need, even, to take far more time or effort than what you currently expend.
They are always about what matters most.</span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt;">Pres.
Utchdorf has wisely counseled, quote “An acceptable sacrifice is when we give
up something good for something of far greater worth.</span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt;">...</span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt;">Dedicating
some of our time to studying the scriptures or preparing to teach a lesson is a
good sacrifice. Spending many hours stitching the title of the lesson into
homemade pot holders for each member of your class perhaps may not be.</span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt;">Every
person and situation is different, and a good sacrifice in one instance might
be a foolish sacrifice in another.</span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt;">How
can we tell the difference for our own situation? We can ask ourselves, “Am I
committing my time and energies to the things that matter most?” There are so
many good things to do, but we can’t do all of them. Our Heavenly Father is
most pleased when we sacrifice something good for something far greater with an
eternal perspective” end quote (“Forget me not”).</span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt;">If
you find that you frequently get caught up into this trap, sacrificing
unnecessarily until our callings or other service opportunities become heavy
burdens and sources of relentless guilt, may I recommend Eld Ballard’s 2006
General Conference talk “O Be Wise”? In this talk, Eld. Ballard gives clear
guidelines in creating balance in our callings. He prays that we will “focus on
the simple ways we can serve in the kingdom of God.” <i>Simple </i>does not
mean <i>weak</i>. <i>Simple </i>does not even mean <i>easy</i>. But it does
mean that we don’t run faster or labor harder than we have strength or
unnecessarily complicate things.</span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt;">I
propose 4 ways we can strengthen our discipleship without, perhaps,
significantly increasing our time or means.</span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt;">The
first principle is demonstrated by a mother Sis. Oscarson describes. This
mother “chooses a topic each week, often one that has generated a lot of discussion
online, and she initiates meaningful discussions during the week when her
children can ask questions and she can make sure they’re getting a balanced and
fair perspective on the often-difficult issues. She is making her home a safe
place to raise questions and have meaningful gospel instruction.” Pres.
Oscarson doesn’t say, but I suspect this mother has family home evening, family
dinners and maybe even family scripture study. But she doesn’t just try to get
through a chapter, or through an hour: she makes the content meaningful and
takes advantage of the time she has to each her family.</span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt;">Setting
aside fifteen minutes a day for scripture study, two hours a month for home
teaching, or a day a week for worship and rest will form worthy habits. But to
magnify the impact of that time, it’s not enough to just go through the
motions. The some of most meaningful scripture study I have done has been to
research a real question or concern, seeking for answers and inspiration.
I felt this urgency most acutely on my mission, where I filled this
notebook with questions I either heard or anticipated from the people we taught
and I dug deep to discover the answers. We do not have time, brothers and
sisters, to simply “get through” a lesson, a family home evening or a Sunday.
We need to make the most of this time to discuss the crucial, even uncomfortable,
truths of the gospel. So principle one, and perhaps the one on which the others
stand, is to simply use the time we have more meaningfully. </span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt;">The
mother in that story thought about the needs of her children in gospel
learning, as did Sis. Marffissa Maldonado, a youth Sunday School teacher in
Mexico. Bonnie Oscarson relates that Sis. Maldonado set up a social media page
for her students, and texts them their assignments, connecting with them in
ways that are natural to t<i>hem.</i> She used social media and text to
communicate with students rather than, say, paper handouts. Instead of
doing things that felt natural to her, she sought to do things that were more
natural to those she taught. Now, posting on a Facebook page takes less time,
not more, than creating a paper handout, so she wasn’t needlessly complicating
her calling, but she was thinking about the ways her students communicate
rather than what worked for her. So, principle two is to serve in the way
others need, not in the way that is comfortable.</span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt;">When
Sis. Maldonado when was called, there were only 7 students regularly
attending her Sunday School class. Now there are more than 20. When President
Oscarson related her amazement, she reports that Sis. Maldonado modestly said,
“Oh, it wasn’t just me. All the class members helped.” And they did. The class
members reached out to less active members and even initiated missionary work
that resulted in the baptism of a new member. </span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt;">I’m
not sure exactly how Sis. Maldonado did it, but I suspect it included inspiring
them about the significance of what was happening every week in class as well
as providing them opportunities to reach out to their classmates. What a great
blessing for those teenage saints to be enlisted in the work of bringing souls
to Christ! Instead of seeing her Sunday School students as passive, she
empowered them to do great things. If you think about it, this is what God,
Christ, the prophet, the bishop and the auxiliary leaders all do when they
extend callings to us, and we can extend invitations to serve to those around
us. So the third principle is to enlist the help of those around us, even those
we serve.</span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt;">Finally,
for the last principle, I want to especially address my primary kids, but it
holds true for youth and non-youth, too. Do you come right away when called for
family home evening or prayer? Do you volunteer to say the prayer over the
food, or, when you are called to pray, do you do so without complaining? Do you
share the lessons you learned in church each Sunday? You can be powerful
examples in your family and beyond! Sis. Oscarson says that “even the
very youngest in this audience can rise up in faith and play a significant role
in building the kingdom of God. ... All children and young [people] can
encourage family home evenings and be full participants. You can be the first
one on your knees as your family gathers for family prayer. Even if your homes
are less than ideal, your personal examples of faithful gospel living can
influence the lives of your family and friends.” </span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt;">If
your families, roommates, friends or coworkers are not all united in living
gospel standards, the temptation can be to live the gospel shyly, being
embarrassed of your discipleship the way you might hide belonging to a Justin
Beiber fan club. Christ commands us to let our light shine before the world.
Don’t be ashamed of your goodness! The world and your family need your
goodness. If you’re reading your scriptures, it’s okay if you read your
scriptures in the living room as well as the bedroom. If you had a good Sunday,
you can share it with coworkers just as proudly as if you had a good Saturday.
If there’s a quote you love from General Conference, you can post it on
Instagram, hang it in your office, or print it on a t-shirt just as deeply as
you engrave it in the fleshy tablets of your heart. We’re not doing this to be
holier-than-thou, but because this is who we are and we have no reason to be
ashamed of who we are.The final principle is to live the gospel boldly.</span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt;">To
summarize, we can magnify the efforts we are already making in gospel living
when we:</span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt;">Make
meaningful use of time set aside for gospel learning</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt;">Serve
in the way that is needed, not in the way that is comfortable.</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt;">Enlist
the help of those around us, even those we serve.</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt;">Live
the gospel boldly.</span></li>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt;">These
principles are not easy. You may feel set in your ways and find it difficult to
try something new in the way that you study the gospel or serve others. You may
hate the feeling of helplessness when recruiting others to do something you
feel you can do better yourself. You may be shy or feel self conscious about
sharing outside the things you feel inside. But I promise that as you do so,
you will see the benefits in those around you as well as within you. We don’t
need to do more, but we do need to do better, and with inspiration from the
Spirit and a willingness to try, we can. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.</span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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mlhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06897457666469917298noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4716342550760162208.post-23675357703738104292016-09-27T08:12:00.001-07:002016-09-27T09:01:57.513-07:00Read a Banned BookEvery year, the American Library Association promotes Banned Books Week, which tricks kids into reading literature under the guise of being rebellious.<br />
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I'm not saying this as a criticism. I, myself taught one of a dozen sections of Banned Books and Novel Ideas at my old university, helping students fulfill a fine arts credit and feel like a literary bad-asses. But, looking around at my colleagues' syllabi, I realized that everything has been banned and nothing was. There were books, certainly, like Harry Potter, that had been banned by some fundamental evangelical librarian in some small town in Ohio, and there had been works that have been "soft banned," like when South Carolina's House of Representatives tried to cut funding because <i>Fun House</i>, a graphic novel about coming of age as a young lesbian was required reading for incoming freshmen, but outright bans have been rare in this country. I ended up taking an international approach with my reading list, looking at banned books from the U.K., Germany, El Salvador, South Africa, Iran and Vietnam.<br />
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The bans are different in the United States.<br />
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I once had lunch with a friend of mine who I admire continually, and we got on the subject of books we pulled off the shelf when we were too young for them.<br />
"I read <i>Anthem</i>," I said, laughing, "when I was ten just because it was skinny."<br />
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The mood suddenly turned sober.<br />
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"You've read <i>Anthem</i>?" she said with distaste. "What were your parents doing owning <i>Anthem</i>?"<br />
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"Well," I said, realizing I had somehow mistepped. "They were in college during the Cold War, and they never sold back any of their books--I'm not sure it's a thing people did back then."<br />
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But it bothered me. Look, I don't agree with Ayn Rand politically one bit, but preteens reading <i>Anthem </i>will find all of the hallmarks of classic YA distopia, complete with the insistence that I Am The Special One. It's juvenile philosophy, which is why most of us grow out of it, but reading it didn't make me a fascist any more than reading <i>Fun Home </i>created a generation of lesbians in South Carolina. What's disturbing is that, culturally, we are uncomfortable with listening to--or reading--someone we don't agree with. <br />
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Foucault's most famous, probably, for the idea of the social panopticon.
The panopticon was a jail system that formulated a couple of hundred
years ago, where the prisoners are always being watched and judged by
someone standing in the middle of the jail, and by each other. Foucault
pointed out that we are always policing each other. In fact, he expanded
carcerality to include not just policemen, but schoolteachers,
preachers and anyone in the society who is watching each other. This,
not outright bans, is where I feel books in America become banned.<br />
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Physicial books, in the digital age, have become markers of who we are, as much a signifier of position and rank as the pictures on our walls and the neighborhoods we live in. I've never put E.D. Hirshe's book about cultural literacy on my bookshelf at work because I didn't want my colleagues to think I was racist. Hirshe's racism is itself debatable, but I didn't want to be guilty by association. Having a physical book on your shelf has become a badge of What You Believe, rather than a sign of What You've Read. <br />
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Most of my examples here have been about more conservative books, the reverse is true, too: I can read books by people I disagree with, even read them attentively, and it will not necessarily radicalize me. In fact, how can I know I disagree with them <i>until </i>I read their book and figure out what, exactly, it is that I disagree with.<br />
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So what I'm saying is, this Banned Book season (which also overlaps with Election season), maybe read something that your group, whoever they are, would deplore. And it's even okay if you deplore it, too. You don't have to like it, you don't even have to finish it, but you do need to understand it.<br />
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It could be memoir of someone you don't agree with (I read a biography of Golda Meir in high school that I still think about sometimes when I think about Zionism), or fiction that promotes a philosophy you don't ascribe to (I <i>adore </i>Turgenov and Poe, but I'm not nearly so gloomy), but go out there and find something someone tells you not to read and read it. mlhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06897457666469917298noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4716342550760162208.post-42165014534199287222015-11-11T13:47:00.002-08:002015-11-11T13:47:55.168-08:00AcrWriMo #3: the Funnel<br />
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Some people like to work on one project at a time, seeing it through to completion and then starting the next one. While focusing on one thing at a time can be an effective way to work, there are many advantages to thinking about your writing as a funnel:</div>
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______________________________ (here's all the ideas for projects you have)</div>
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_________________________ (here are the projects you're collecting research on)</div>
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___________________ (here are the projects you're drafting)</div>
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___________ (here are the projects you're revising)</div>
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___ (here are the projects you're submitting)</div>
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One nice thing about the funnel is that when you submit, you can always turn your attention to the revisions you need to make for the next thing, which keeps you from agonizing about the article or chapter you just send off, as Dr. Clay Spinnozi pointed out in our publishing workshop. You are always submitting because you are always writing!</div>
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Another advantage of the funnel is that you know what your next project is instead of casting around for ideas. You might consider writing down all the ideas you have at the top of the funnel somewhere. This is especially nice when you're revising your dissertation: keep a list of ideas for the book version, and you can cut them from the dissertation without feeling bad.</div>
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Now not everyone is as easily distracted as I am, but I personally really enjoy being able to shift between the projects in the funnel. "A change can be as good as a rest," as my grandpa used to say. When I'm burned out from revising an abstract theory-heavy section of a chapter, I can move to the more concrete practice of coding responses from another project. If I just can't outline a new chapter right now, maybe I can edit the bibliography of an article. If I sit down to do my sustained writing and I just <i>really </i>don't want to do one task, I can coax myself into writing by beginning with another task *</div>
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* This task has to be in the funnel, though: writing long comments on a YouTube mash-up video or crafting the perfect response to a Facebook argument doesn't count.</div>
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mlhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06897457666469917298noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4716342550760162208.post-79538228454719385732015-11-03T07:46:00.003-08:002015-11-03T07:51:54.193-08:00AcWriMo Advice #1: Environment<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;">
<b>Environment</b></div>
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There are a lot of people who will tell you can you (read: they) can only write in the ideal place: quiet, surrounded by books, often in an oak-and-leather study with filtered afternoon light. Sounds great, but that's not the only place that can be effective for you. Stacey Pigg (2014) found that one of the great unteachable skills for undergraduate writers is <b>learning where you personally can focus</b>. Because you can be so flexible as a graduate student, you're fortunate to have a wide range of options: coffee shops, libraries, home, etc. Try a couple of these and find what works best for you.</div>
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But also recognize that <b>just as there are different kinds of writing, there are different kinds of writing environments</b>. For example, I'm sitting at the reception desk of Austin Pets Alive! which is a noisy place where I'm frequently interrupted; it's a bad place for be to do the sustained, focused- writing on a book chapter, but it's great for grammar-checking the proofs my editor sent me and writing you all an email. I'll do the quiet work in my office later today. Just because you're stuck in a dentist's waiting room or there's a tornado warning or you left the book you need at home doesn't mean you can't write: you might just have to do a different kind of writing.</div>
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You might also consider what goes into a writing environment <b>besides just the space around you</b>. You might invest in noise-canceling headphones or earplugs, or use an ergonomic chair or put your laptop on a cabinet to stand and write, as some of my colleagues have. Environment also might include digital resources--do you need to turn off the internet or disable Facebook or set your phone to airplane mode?</div>
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Ultimately<b> you can be successful in any place where you can write</b>. I wrote a big chunk of my dissertation in the Walmart auto waiting room because it was the only place close to my house that was open in the very early hours. I put on headphones and hunkered down and no one asked me if I was waiting on a tire change. </div>
mlhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06897457666469917298noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4716342550760162208.post-21926806068238344882015-07-31T08:11:00.000-07:002015-07-31T08:11:06.079-07:00The Sabbath Day Talk
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<span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Intro, who I am. I really want to be
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">good.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to honor my fathers and my mothers, and
my ancestors back as far as I know them and then I want to discover even more
of them to honor. I want to care for the poor and needy, visit the sick and
afflicted and those imprisoned by earthly authorities or their own doubts and
addictions. I want to mourn with those that mourn, comfort those who stand in
need of comfort and to be a witness of him at times and in all things and in
all places. I want <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to feast upon the
words of Christ and becoming willing participants of his grace, tuned to hear
the speaking of the still small voice and committed to follow its directions.
In occasions of questions, struggle or need, I want to fast in order to
strengthen our ability to hear his word and feel his comfort. Above all, I want
to be <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>part of a holy people, consecrated
unto him. I want to be, in God’s words, “unspotted from the world” (D&C
59:9)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But I live in this world where I am
busy with so many things. So many times I have wanted to be a consecrated
person, but I thought, “I can’t do it now—there’s no time.” I get caught up in
this mortal world, instead of sacrificing for eternity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that, as Bruce R McConkie once said, “Sacrifice
involves giving up the things of this world because of the promises of blessings
to be in a better world”— but it can be hard to find time to keep myself
unspotted from this world. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular";">In order to help
us to become consecrated, God gave us the time to practice the things of
another world when each week he gives us the Sabbath Day. Since, as Christ
said, “</span><span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">the <span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">sabbath</span> was <span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">made</span> for <span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">man</span>, and <span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">not man</span> for the <span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Sabbath” (Mark 2:27), we should take
advantage of this day as a way to step away from this world and enjoy a more celestial
life. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Elder Clayton, in a press meeting for the Church just a few weeks ago
said, </span><span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular";">“</span><span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">What we hope is that the Sabbath will
become a delight for people at home, that they'll love what happens in their
homes on Sunday. It will be a time to draw apart from the world, to just give
ourselves some rest from the things that are always before our eyes the other
days of the week, all the things we worry about.”</span><span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular";"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular";">The Sabbath Day
was instituted by covenant since the beginning of time and in modern days is
requisite for preparing a divine people. It is a perpetual covenant (Exodus
31:16-17) and God’s people keep it. In the end, we must keep the Sabbath holy
by being holy. We cannot be holy if our minds and our actions are focused on
wealth, selfish pleasure and the things of this world. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular";">If we aren’t in
the world, I’d like you to think of the Sabbath as a combination of two
different kinds of “unworldliness”. The first kind of unworldliness is in the
past, from when the Sabbath was originally ordained, after God created this
world and humanity and then rested from his labors (Genesis 2:2-3). This is the
part of the Sabbath that reminds us of Eden and what it would be like to live
in Eden. The second aspect of the Sabbath reminds us of Zion, a time that has
occurred in pockets here and there, but we know will someday cover the whole
world These two ways of living, as in Eden and as in Zion, can be practiced at
any time of the week, but on the Sabbath we especially have the time to
practice this way of living to keep ourselves “unspotted from the world.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular";">Let us speak
first of Eden. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular";">In Eden, Adam
and Eve didn’t yet have to work hard and earn their bread by the sweat of their
brow. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Sabbath gives us a chance to
reclaim this Eden. In Jesus the Christ, Elder Talmage writes, “To the many who
profess to regard the necessity of toil as a part of the curse evoked through
Adam’s fall, the Sabbath should appeal as a day of temporary reprieve, a time
of exemption from labor and as affording blessed opportunity of closer approach
to the Presence.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular";">On the Sabbath
Day, we can rest from the labors of the week. Six days have been given us to do
our work, but on the Sabbath we can enjoy peace. Many of us now work what has
been called a “post-Fordian” work schedule. This means we can do our work
anywhere. Instead of having to go into an office, we find that all we need is a
computer and an internet connection to be doing and worrying about our work.
Sometimes we don’t even need that—a smartphone will do. Under such
circumstances, it can be tempting to work all week long, not resting and not
recognizing that there is a life beyond work. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular";">Prophets have declared
that when a nation grows careless in observing the Sabbath Day, all aspects of
life are affected, and they might have forseen how easy it is today to work at <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">anytime </i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and thus begin to feel that we need to work <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">all the time</i>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular";">Many countries
now find that their workers are suffering from a constant preoccupation with
work. Germany is “considering new ‘anti-stress’ legislation, banning companies
from contacting employees out of hours” [Stuart, 2014], stating that
“there is an undeniable relationship between constant availability and the
increase of mental illness” [Nahles, 2014]. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular";">In May 2014
Japan invented a new national holiday, Mountain Day, to pry workers away from
their work. As reported in the Wall Street Journal, “"In Japan, there is
of course paid vacation, but people don't take it," says Seishiro Eto, a
member of the governing Liberal Democratic Party who led the push for the
holiday. "I hope with Mountain Day, people will be able to take more of
their vacation."” All Japan and Germany really need, though, is a Sabbath.
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular";">The Lord knows
that it can be hard not to focus on the work we love to do, or feel we need to
do, and by instituting the Sabbath, he has done for us what these governments
are now hastily attempting—forcing us to slow down, take a break, and enjoy our
lives, our families and the world that the Lord made before he rested. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular";">The other way
that the Sabbath can be an Eden to us is in giving us the space and time to
approach the presence of God. In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve dwelt in the
presence of God. They could receive direction from him in person and learned of
his plan for them. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular";">We know how
important it is to pray, to read scriptures, to fast and to worship, but on the
Sabbath, we can put away the things of the world and focus more fully on our
spiritual lives. Brigham Young said “When a people assemble to worship, they
should leave their worldly cares where they belong, then their minds are in a
proper condition to worship the Lord.” True Sabbath keeping seeks to
communicate with our father more fully and obey his commandments. I was struck
by the story Brother Burton told a couple of weeks ago about how his family
used to go get ice cream every Sunday evening. Later, his mother, acting under
the spirit and under wise counsel, decided that it was more important to be
obedient and be in a position to receive the spirit than to enjoy ice cream at
a parlor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What a great example of
putting God first on the Sabbath! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular";">All of us can
renew our commitment to focus on God on Sunday, and follow the spirit to know
what things we should put away on this day. At the last General Conference,
Elder Nelson said, “w</span><span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">hen
I had to make a decision whether or not an activity was appropriate for the
Sabbath, I simply asked myself, “What <em>sign</em> do I want to give to God?”
That question made my choices about the Sabbath day crystal clear.” We return
to Eden when we use the Sabbath to strengthen our relationship with God and
seek him more diligently.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Imagine a world where
everyone kept the Sabbath as if it were Eden. What if everyone within reason
was able to have a day of rest, to see themselves not as workers, but as
people? What if everyone could spend time each week with their families, in introspection
or in spiritual exercise? What if everyone could be given time to pray, to
meditate, to take long strolls, call home, and to read the words of the Lord?
Wouldn’t that be an Eden?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Now let me jump ahead
from Eden to the future, to the Zion that we will see. Zion has existed in
pockets at various times. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">At one time a prophet
named Enoch led Zion. In this city “the Lord called his people Zion, because
they were of one heart and one mind, and dwelt in righteousness; and there was
no poor among them.” How were these people of one heart and mind, dwelling in
rightouesness and caring for the poor? They did God’s work. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When we seek Zion on
the Sabbath, we do God’s work rather than seeking our own pleasure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We care for each other in ways that the Lord
would care for us. We serve faithfully in our callings, visit the sick and the
sorrowful, visit the captive. We are all needed. We all have something we can
do to build the kingdom of Zion. As President Faust once said </span><span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular";">“You can be powerful instruments in the
hands of God to help bring about this great work. You can do something for
another that no one else ever born can do.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular";">On one Sunday,
November 30, 1856, , Brigham Young read a letter describing the plight of
handcart pioneers who were stranded out on the plains –look, this just became a
Pioneer Day talk!—cold and starving. At this time, he called the people to
action. “Prayer is good,” he told the Saints at morning worship service, “but
when baked potatoes and pudding and milk are needed, prayer will not supply
their place on this occasion; give every duty its proper time and place.” The
people responded right away: some of the women in the congregation leaned over
and pulled off their socks right there to send with the rescue efforts. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular";">They began right
away on that Sabbath to do good and we can too. The Sabbath Day is a day to “deal
thy bread to the hungry, and that thou bring the poor that are cast out to thy
house? when thou seest the naked, that thou cover him” (Isaiah 58:7).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes the good we do on the Sabbath will
be of a more invisible sort—doing home and visiting teaching to make certain
that every person in the ward feels loved and watched over, teaching the gospel
to our friends and family members, turning our hearts to our fathers—but when
we do the work of the Lord, we build Zion. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular";">Again I’d like
you to imagine a world where everyone took time at least once a week to do the
good they mean to do. What would it look like if everyone had time to write
thank you notes to those who had influenced them for good or visit the elderly
and sick? What would happen if every week the spiritually and physically poor
were attended to? Wouldn’t that be Zion?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular";">If all of this
seems too idealistic, if it seems like the sort of thing that human beings just
can’t do—well, you’re right. We can’t. Not alone, anyway, but then we were
never asked to do it alone. If the Sabbath Day is a chance for us to be
consecrated, to make us holy, it is imperative to remember that we can be holy
only with the great sacrifice of Jesus Christ. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular";">For this reason
the sacrament is the climax of the Sabbath Day and all the days preceding and
following it. In this action we make ourselves more unspotted from the world by
letting Christ’s Atonement cleanse us, remind us of our covenants to be his
consecrated people. We let his grace work in us as we promise to take his name
upon us and always remember him. If we are to build little Edens and little
Zions, then we can do so only with the power of Jesus Christ. The sacrament
reminds to overcome human nature and be more like Christ, more holy, and the
rest of the Sabbath Day gives us a chance to practice being more Christ-like.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular"; font-size: 12.0pt;">And
when we become more Christ-like, then the Sabbath becomes a delight. Let me
read the scripture that line comes from. It’s Isaiah 58:13-4 : </span><span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If thou turn away thy foot from the sabbath, <span class="clarityword">from</span> doing thy pleasure on my holy day; and call the
sabbath a delight, the holy of the <span class="smallcaps">Lord</span>,
honourable; and shalt honour him, not doing thine own ways, nor finding thine
own pleasure, nor speaking <span class="clarityword">thine own</span> words:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Then shalt thou delight thyself in the <span class="smallcaps">Lord</span>; and I will cause thee to ride upon the high places
of the earth, and feed thee with the heritage of Jacob thy father: for the
mouth of the <span class="smallcaps">Lord</span> hath spoken <span class="clarityword">it.</span></span></div>
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<span class="clarityword"><span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I like the second verse just as much as
the first. We call the Sabbath a delight when we delight ourselves in the Lord,
when our wills are aligned with his and we no longer think about strict lists
of dos and don’ts, but engage in a weekly practice of becoming more like
Christ, in re-creating Eden and Zion in a fallen world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="clarityword"><span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Before ending, I’d like you to take a
minute right here and right now to review the past: are there practices that
you have engaged in on the Sabbath that have sent you back into the world and
away from seeking the will of the Lord? I encourage you to commit to stop them.
Are there things you have done which have filled your soul with the approval of
God? I encourage you to cultivate them. </span></span></div>
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<span class="clarityword"><span style="font-family: "Athelas Regular"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Some of you will commit today to doing
more and seeking righteous industry; some of you will commit to doing less and
seeking peace. This Sabbath, though, take time to meditate on how you can build
a Sabbath of Edens and Zions in your own life. I know as you do so not only
will you be blessed, but our whole ward will be stronger, our families will be
stronger and we will bless everyone around us until this world becomes a
heavenly world.</span></span></div>
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mlhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06897457666469917298noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4716342550760162208.post-37609861282524105592015-03-26T13:53:00.001-07:002015-03-26T13:53:25.208-07:00Class Outside and other MysteriesIt is lovely weather lately. Texas' best season is March and April and I will always stand by this: the bluebonnets are out, the leaves on the trees are fresh and young, the sunlight is swept by the rain. This year, because of the rain we've gotten the past couple of weeks is perhaps even better than usual. The past week, everytime I've been inside I've wanted to be outside. In class the other day, we opened the windows to let the cool breeze in and it was lovely in part, so I wanted it in whole.<br />
<br />
So yesterday I told my students to grab their bags and come on outside. There's a courtyard right next to our building with steps and sometimes we hear students rehearsing Shakespeare out there and it seems an ideal way to spend a spring afternoon. Instead of sitting in a dark room, looking at a screen, I could print off copies of the sample paper I want them to look at and we could sit outside and have an enriching discussion on the grass.<br />
<br />
As soon as we get out, the steps look unlikely--they are covered in dry leaves, and even if they weren't the direct sun is hotter than it seemed in class. "Can we go back to the air conditioning?" a student jokes. Kind of. Someone points out a nice cool spot of shade in the grass, so we head over there and sit down. Cross legged, kind of sideways. One of my students is in a skirt. Another sits and and then immediately stands up, "Don't sit there!" she exclaims, "There are lots of prickles there."<br />
<br />
Finally everyone gets situated and it goes pretty much as I planned: I take their questions about the forthcoming assignment. I have them read silently the first model (my own writing, in true National Writing Project fashion) and then we identify how it relates to their own projects. Good discussion. Then it's time to read the next model, a student paper of their forthcoming projects. One long-legged student stands up. "Is it okay if I sit over there on the benches to read?" He's been squirming for a few minutes now.<br />
<br />
"Sure," I say, because I can't think why not. "We'll take around 10 minutes."<br />
<br />
As usual, some students finish early, some later. No one really chats, though; we're all sitting in a circle, so I can look them in their eyes. Also, it's outside. I say we're going to regroup and the students who sought out a bench come back. We talk about the model. I point out what I think are the strengths of the paper. They identify characteristics that relate to work we've already done in class. I have to shift around too, and, more often than I like, I find myself talking about something supportive and encouraging while tearing some innocent clover or leaf of grass into atomic particles.<br />
<br />
We want to listen to a sample student project, a podcast a previous student made, so I play it off my laptop and we all strain to hear. The students on the far edge (near the prickles) cup their ears to hear, but I think they get it. After a discussion of that part, then, I hand out the last handout and describe the homework for next time. The clock tower chimes the quarter hour and we unbend and wander off.<br />
<br />
A student sneezes. "I think I'm allergic to Texas," he says, more cheerfully than he sounds. Today, I will learn later, is one of the worst allergy days of the year. Several of my students, it seems, have allergies.<br />
<br />
So I don't think I'll go outside again. Class Outside is one of those great forbiddens, more lovely because they are forbidden and like all great mysteries, you find that the actual experience of it includes pluses and minuses. The distance romanticizes it. These mysteries are sometimes well worth it--marriage springs to mind, and traveling the world. Sometimes, though, it's better to open the windows and let yourself be tempted instead.mlhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06897457666469917298noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4716342550760162208.post-21917378203634376662015-03-17T15:20:00.002-07:002015-03-17T15:20:41.634-07:00Being a Gimli instead of a GaladrielI am short and I am strong. In Tolkein terms, I am Gimli.<br />
<br />
This is a sad realization for a young lady to come to. Everyone wants to be an elf. I want to be an elf, I want to be freakin' Galadriel, man. No one ever spoke of the beautiful and elegant dwarf woman.<br />
<br />
But I'm kind of amazing, physically. I was in an Aikaido class on a lark and the big, experienced guys (of the beginning class) had a hard time breaking my grip. "She's really strong," the instructor said by way of explanation to the thin, wiry woman whose wrists I had grabbed behind her back. "Do you life weights?" another class member asked me a little while later.<br />
<br />
"I, well, sometimes," I said.<br />
<br />
It was kind of a middle place to be. I was proud because, yeah, I do lift weights, a couple of times a week--I'm not a weightlifter--and there are several things I can't do that I feel strong people can do, like pull ups, for example. But I am strong. I can carrying the water cooler jugs by myself at work, tossing them up on my shoulder and on to the top of water cooler. I can haul in my groceries at all once. It's pretty cool.<br />
<br />
But there's something about our society that says you can only be strong as long as you are also beautiful.<br />
<br />
Hey, don't get me wrong--I think it's awesome that our society says that women can be strong at all--back in my mom's day, girls would skip PE because they didn't want to be considered too muscley, and skinny-fat was the standard look--no one wanted people to know she had muscles. This is a real improvement, to see models on the covers of running magazines and shoulder muscles on our actresses. But it all fits best if you also happen to be 5'11 and thin.<br />
<br />
I'm not. I'm this short, hour-glassy strong woman. I wear a solid sports bra and I have to take one-and-a-half steps for those gazelle-legged dashers' every one, so I do. I'm surprising fast and surprisingly strong and I am tenacious. I recover faster than almost anyone I know. When I ran the Tough Mudder with my much taller boyfriend, I kept reenergizing after each event, until at the end I was kind of dragging him along, forcing him to run. Yesterday I did an 11-mile run and today I feel like I could do it again.<br />
<br />
This is, I think, characteristic of us dwarves. It might even be characteristic of us women. Some studies, like <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9044230" target="_blank">this on</a>e, find that women's athletic ranking relative to men's increases in longer distances, because we are so fatigue resistance as the distances get longer. Also, we short types tend to do better in ultra marathons as <a href="http://www.runnersworld.com/trail-running-training/why-women-rule?page=single" target="_blank">Jason Koop</a> points out: "With ultra endurance running, women have a huge advantage simply because they're smaller."<br />
<br />
Dwarves, in other words, are not natural sprinters. <br />
<br />
Part of the revolution that needs to take place in the way we accept our bodies is to recognize that bodies of all sorts are amazing and can be strong, not just the ones that look like Angelina Jolie, or even the US women's volleyball team. There's no right way to strong.mlhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06897457666469917298noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4716342550760162208.post-83870721405668483702015-01-04T09:15:00.001-08:002015-01-04T09:15:45.064-08:00Some thoughts on rhetoric and the gospel of Jesus Christ
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Rhetoric and the Gospel of Jesus Christ</div>
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I study rhetoric, which is a field much maligned. It is, in
common parlance, manipulative, shallow and antithetical to good reasoning. I’m
not surprised, but that’s not how I see rhetoric. That’s not how most rhetoricians
see it. Rhetoric is a beautiful process by which human beings see other human
beings, consider them fully and then “<span class="st"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">inducing </span></span><em><span style="font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">cooperation</span></em><span class="st"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> in beings that by nature respond to symbols” (Burke, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Rhetoric of Motives</i> 43). This process is
absolutely in line with the principles of the Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-day Saints, and is, in fact, illuminative of Mormon beliefs.</span></span></div>
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<span class="st"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In the first LDS hymnbook, the one that
Emma Smith compiled, she included a song called “Know This, That Every Soul Is
Free,” presumably because it reflected some of the distinctive doctrines of the
recently organized church. The first verse affirms that “God will force no man
to heav’n” (hymn number 240) and this concept is indeed heavily endorsed by the
LDS church; the principle of agency is so enshrined in Mormon theology that we
see agency as extending before the creation of the world, when Satan proposed
an opposite plan that would strip human beings of their agency and force them
on a path instead of letting them choose to accept covenants and grace that
would enable them to live a celestial life.</span></span></div>
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<span class="st"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If God cares for his children as much
as we say he does, but if he will not force them to divinity, how will he endeavor
to aid them? The next verse of the hymn explains, “He’ll call, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">persuade,</i> direct aright” (240, emphasis
added). Persuasion is one of the tools that God uses, either directly, or
through human or heavenly agents, to encourage righteousness, even if he will
not ever “force the human mind” (240).</span></span></div>
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<span class="st"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The ways in which human agents can use
persuasion righteously are outlined further in Doctrine and Covenants, 121, a
famous chapter of revelation directed to church leaders<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>about the proper use of their authority.
Here, the Lord directs:</span></span></div>
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<span class="chunk"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">No power or influence can or
ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by
long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;</span></span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span class="chunk"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">By kindness, and pure knowledge,
which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile—</span></span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span class="chunk"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Reproving betimes with
sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards
an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to
be his enemy. (D&C 121: 41-42)</span></span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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The use of persuasion is listed along with such common Christian
virtues as gentleness and love.. As international relations professor Cory W.
Leonard pointed out in an address to BYU, “<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">section 121 of the
Doctrine and Covenants places persuasion in close quarters with at least three
qualities previously introduced: namely, meekness, long-suffering, and love.
These virtues can modify and direct our persuasive efforts, especially as we
interact in a world filled with conflict, strife, and disagreement” (“<span class="dinweb-light">By Persuasion, Longsuffering,</span> <span class="dinweb-light">Meekness, and Love” 3 May 2011). I agree with Leonard, but
might even go a step forward:</span></span> I believe that persuasion is a kind
of love, a love that restrains power and influence instead of wielding it
oppressively.</div>
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That’s not to say there isn’t such thing as manipulative
rhetoric, or practices that are underhanded and unfair, but good rhetoric, the
only kind worth of the name, is a different sort of thing all together. To see
where I’m coming from, consider Plato’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Phaedrus.</i>
It may seem incongruous to jump from a BYU devotional to a treatise that presumes
pederasty, but hear me out. The <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Phaedrus </i>is
notable in rhetoric circles because not only does Socrates talk about rhetoric,
but in a reversal of opinion from the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Gorgias</i>,
he describes a type of rhetoric that he may actually <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">like</i>. In Socrates’ third speech, he describes how the lover who
truly loves will want to support the object of his affection, helping him to
grow and develop and become the best that he can. This relationship, Richard
Weaver points out, is a metaphor for the rhetor and the audience—while the
worst types of speaker and writers will want to keep their audiences ignorant
and dependent, the best will see the divine potential within the beloved and do
everything necessary to help that potential to develop. That’s the kind of rhetoric
that is divine—the kind that recognizes something in the audience that seems
eternal and then moves to articulate and realize that divinity.</div>
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In my mind, that is the essence of Mormonism: to see the
divine potential in each individual and encourage them, though the exercise of
their own agency, to develop it. That can only be accomplished by persuasion,
because we, as agents of God, cannot “force the human mind.” </div>
mlhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06897457666469917298noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4716342550760162208.post-24017345460488007152014-11-23T18:11:00.001-08:002014-11-23T18:11:27.600-08:00American EmpireI feel just a little white-guilty about Hawaii. I mean, it was a sovereign nation that we annexed mostly because of corporate pressure. It's so remote, so different culturally, that my niece (who has been living here for 3 months) was shocked that it was a state: "This is part of <i>America</i>?!" she exclaimed.<br />
<br />
No kidding.<br />
<br />
That being said, it hasn't been a bad trip out here so far. Most delightfully, we've averaged a pineapple a day.<br />
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<br />mlhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06897457666469917298noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4716342550760162208.post-46973265194621571122014-10-05T14:39:00.002-07:002014-10-05T14:39:48.599-07:00Pics or It Didn't Happen<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgylZrpeXAUXM-yBzEwmgcTPEEJV5udCoe0qcLK-FFbKkpyhyphenhyphenI-jnMISwMChwgzUamAbGIotUlztPsO5A_L55vOdi0J9uVMuN7e3KBWl3tX6tv9owDLNhbMMc7iRgka9mJva6I8frtJbA/s1600/2014-07-26+21.40.30.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgylZrpeXAUXM-yBzEwmgcTPEEJV5udCoe0qcLK-FFbKkpyhyphenhyphenI-jnMISwMChwgzUamAbGIotUlztPsO5A_L55vOdi0J9uVMuN7e3KBWl3tX6tv9owDLNhbMMc7iRgka9mJva6I8frtJbA/s1600/2014-07-26+21.40.30.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jess Lally's wedding where I got to see Sister Pearson again.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">sailing in San Francisco</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">On a Run with my Nephews</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Eden Hatchets the Shark Melon</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Birthday pre-birthday with Henry</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Birthday Pre-Birthday with DC Friends</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Actual Birthday in Texas</td></tr>
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<br />mlhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06897457666469917298noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4716342550760162208.post-37347605136961475692014-08-20T12:35:00.002-07:002014-08-20T12:35:55.783-07:00The Road Trip I've Always Meant to TakeI'm a good traveler.<br />
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Part of what this means is that I like going to new and/or exotic locales, eat weird foods, talk with strangers and not know 100% where I'm going to sleep. But this also means that I'm good at the traveling part. This is the 8-hour-flight part, the legs-tucked-up-on-your-luggage part, the waiting-at-the-bus-station part. I'm good at hunkering down, entering my own headspace and getting through the actual process of travel.<br />
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This has made me terrible at road trips. Because for all I want to see the remarkable things passing me by at 70 miles-per-hour, I also just want to hold my pee, eat a granola bar and finally get there. It's hard for me to stop my flow and get out to look around, but this time, this drive from California to Utah, solo, I was going to have the road trip I kept meaning to have. I needed to take one sister's car from the other sister's house to our parents and there was no deadline of when I has to be there.<br />
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So I cranked up my tunes and took the scenic route, the 88 through California and then the 5, the "Loneliness Highway in America."<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">So I stopped at a California fruitstand and got cheap seconds...</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And pulled over at scenic overlooks with historical/ecological plaques....</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And took a break to take my shoes off in a lake...</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And ate lunch at a quirky locales place where the two employees told me about the time Calvin (8-yr-old son of the owner) came in with a garter snake and scared off the lady customers</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy0eH2eu_pcT9IXd51zwHxF_exfHOdk1TsLafpSHLgwqZQU-wtR1wzzxe1rfgWXo2yJuyeCAlrTEYa4PC2QDsrbCs-7trdgqP9hMt3zKAKpLcoH3ho_InqUJ7JILgvlxqvPXGDDANqRA/s1600/2014-08-18+12.56.42.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy0eH2eu_pcT9IXd51zwHxF_exfHOdk1TsLafpSHLgwqZQU-wtR1wzzxe1rfgWXo2yJuyeCAlrTEYa4PC2QDsrbCs-7trdgqP9hMt3zKAKpLcoH3ho_InqUJ7JILgvlxqvPXGDDANqRA/s1600/2014-08-18+12.56.42.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This sandwich was named for the owner, but his wife and son have their own sandwiches, too (the "Calvinator")</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLKnuGBlc3jC3PZcn_3tZQm02V1qW5fGX8e_7DrxZxPXE41xAK9Vst_2UOHvJNdcnYjaLNxkjDru5LtrFdTn9qpzU1Eoc8q99Jhf1Twrao6crsQ63ioF9N8KVfa8HiK3jsa78SRGYEkg/s1600/2014-08-18+13.06.53.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLKnuGBlc3jC3PZcn_3tZQm02V1qW5fGX8e_7DrxZxPXE41xAK9Vst_2UOHvJNdcnYjaLNxkjDru5LtrFdTn9qpzU1Eoc8q99Jhf1Twrao6crsQ63ioF9N8KVfa8HiK3jsa78SRGYEkg/s1600/2014-08-18+13.06.53.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Did I mention the locals thing? This is where the regulars keep their own mugs. One employee was looking for a to rent a room to someone who was female, but also have 4-wheel-drive, so the other employee recommended she put a sign at the Harley shop, because "those are strong women."</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipupBC3kv3CbnkynUCbZ3JuSgouuumL6BFLHGvPfvemcjPGnpK0VZhVSNsNH9HkBIXjRfhmK3gIiYeNRFDLMVmgWKlEdakcyWp38chZIkxuFZTvqmG2t8kTEadnEcBhY1c1NrUzu_SaA/s1600/2014-08-18+13.37.51.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipupBC3kv3CbnkynUCbZ3JuSgouuumL6BFLHGvPfvemcjPGnpK0VZhVSNsNH9HkBIXjRfhmK3gIiYeNRFDLMVmgWKlEdakcyWp38chZIkxuFZTvqmG2t8kTEadnEcBhY1c1NrUzu_SaA/s1600/2014-08-18+13.37.51.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And in Nevada I stopped at historical sites like Genoa.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRiNVoZhPRQT-lO6yK2_oGHweVvnaPzdF-5oVRuHE9gz-3gNRm-fP1On9TMkfgM42VYbS-OAUBMiB_93FtyAyxDdr0NzNNo9j_hzEMhrWkJY6NRB2a6sOJdZ1UpEWJh0_XDdj88uaCzA/s1600/2014-08-18+14.01.29.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRiNVoZhPRQT-lO6yK2_oGHweVvnaPzdF-5oVRuHE9gz-3gNRm-fP1On9TMkfgM42VYbS-OAUBMiB_93FtyAyxDdr0NzNNo9j_hzEMhrWkJY6NRB2a6sOJdZ1UpEWJh0_XDdj88uaCzA/s1600/2014-08-18+14.01.29.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And saw creepy antique displays</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw_EGdTQZSkhO_5t2nA-ly_SQEPvkMsoL5UzDM0DbLgowPTl5KXLf82PYRYr1ixl-X9nNxQEF3iWTZDW-OdZe_oXwKTd3C6zb_B5mVtIvLZQLnxhSXJ4WpZDKFWixv-pFQJcywXsmf-g/s1600/2014-08-18+13.42.52.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw_EGdTQZSkhO_5t2nA-ly_SQEPvkMsoL5UzDM0DbLgowPTl5KXLf82PYRYr1ixl-X9nNxQEF3iWTZDW-OdZe_oXwKTd3C6zb_B5mVtIvLZQLnxhSXJ4WpZDKFWixv-pFQJcywXsmf-g/s1600/2014-08-18+13.42.52.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And creepy dioramas</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZGxOgWlwjDAGiQ54tZagx4WEBHpJtGgclng-v8jpRl1gmGZHH7D2FjhzZFhbOKHxveNm3M4gtsqSTxHmoWiyQF3s80_k6PtvJok-1Q9hHPJtdYoo-PJcytnm-6-UrZrChFgDMVEmcZw/s1600/2014-08-18+13.45.29.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZGxOgWlwjDAGiQ54tZagx4WEBHpJtGgclng-v8jpRl1gmGZHH7D2FjhzZFhbOKHxveNm3M4gtsqSTxHmoWiyQF3s80_k6PtvJok-1Q9hHPJtdYoo-PJcytnm-6-UrZrChFgDMVEmcZw/s1600/2014-08-18+13.45.29.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">and creepy jail recreations.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdrKMOTfuiwm14OtpJWTTqj_wnzM-5iOJFyJEroKkikT3FbeSXW648mUYF99br2izFPSDRGY7R0B2PkDfS4G_qYsVQCTV1e2d2WTdF-m5tfKWyXIiMDz_dmqQ8t6jBPUq7Wo_bTj1ezg/s1600/2014-08-18+18.08.01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdrKMOTfuiwm14OtpJWTTqj_wnzM-5iOJFyJEroKkikT3FbeSXW648mUYF99br2izFPSDRGY7R0B2PkDfS4G_qYsVQCTV1e2d2WTdF-m5tfKWyXIiMDz_dmqQ8t6jBPUq7Wo_bTj1ezg/s1600/2014-08-18+18.08.01.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And I got to meet up with my friend Dana, who not only let me sleep on her couch, but went hiking with me...</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJ5aKIVswA9XaLXmpqRjamOybgYT0lj5ovAVjHl900z3XEDXXJ2H-Fffu723c-h2ZopZ_2AVbc9NGCE3lfHIwQoEgNj5HD3o68T8KwULDatVjaAUoF7lne31CzPj7GXmOJ0p-Qz9_7uA/s1600/2014-08-18+18.14.02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJ5aKIVswA9XaLXmpqRjamOybgYT0lj5ovAVjHl900z3XEDXXJ2H-Fffu723c-h2ZopZ_2AVbc9NGCE3lfHIwQoEgNj5HD3o68T8KwULDatVjaAUoF7lne31CzPj7GXmOJ0p-Qz9_7uA/s1600/2014-08-18+18.14.02.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">To a beautiful, freezing cold lake.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSocmhWO6ykJsVbdLMq_XcmJNsYMUyjo37RxxGwNRR8K_6OVm_SyFI0ETMv-rXgPIuvFqBY2sYphwCj4xIKIzjyMmONuPE3bPAXi6Fqxj8WxEJ8_ZdNG4QqfvA4vqucGL_BBi3fV-V0A/s1600/2014-08-19+09.53.53.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSocmhWO6ykJsVbdLMq_XcmJNsYMUyjo37RxxGwNRR8K_6OVm_SyFI0ETMv-rXgPIuvFqBY2sYphwCj4xIKIzjyMmONuPE3bPAXi6Fqxj8WxEJ8_ZdNG4QqfvA4vqucGL_BBi3fV-V0A/s1600/2014-08-19+09.53.53.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And I stopped at Austin NV's cemetary.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyp0U_fpynwomuuyLpxuMJlgtrrfEeQMJEbdDaG7fWftbcnRpDdmYY-EaE5c2QcD8q9L5Nb0pU1sLq6KpBVu8F9RoUQP6Ga8j0MBcO0isRHi2s8Jnq6goiNhYQs7V0PeujUre-_Pb_sQ/s1600/2014-08-19+09.59.10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyp0U_fpynwomuuyLpxuMJlgtrrfEeQMJEbdDaG7fWftbcnRpDdmYY-EaE5c2QcD8q9L5Nb0pU1sLq6KpBVu8F9RoUQP6Ga8j0MBcO0isRHi2s8Jnq6goiNhYQs7V0PeujUre-_Pb_sQ/s1600/2014-08-19+09.59.10.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I thought I'd be all cool and Billion Grave the place, but someone beat me to it!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuXUtiSG85e1g34jaaYlDqACibnhyphenhyphenJO8OK63S8ZuyoevkF9_0wdd0XefhuYqxK_Kte76mFEFuI6ZlKNf5PJOpsgKOlaVSK9DbhNrjZ9LtStVnCZOKQKs2i1Hi4IlCBbdlPe_1We56ZRw/s1600/2014-08-19+11.27.02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuXUtiSG85e1g34jaaYlDqACibnhyphenhyphenJO8OK63S8ZuyoevkF9_0wdd0XefhuYqxK_Kte76mFEFuI6ZlKNf5PJOpsgKOlaVSK9DbhNrjZ9LtStVnCZOKQKs2i1Hi4IlCBbdlPe_1We56ZRw/s1600/2014-08-19+11.27.02.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And I went through sweet little towns and got pulled over for going too fast, but was given a kindly lecture about arriving alive and looking out for small towns and animals as I drive.</td></tr>
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All in all, I'm going to claim this trip as a win, although there was a dull stretch in East Nevada, but that would have been the point that, had I a companion, we would have moved on to discussing Deep Things. Hint. Hint. Hint.mlhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06897457666469917298noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4716342550760162208.post-52956657212002792842014-07-20T07:36:00.003-07:002014-07-20T07:36:47.693-07:00FlakeLast night I canceled on a party that I agreed to go to thirty minutes earlier. A party that I had practically begged to be invited to, and invited others to. Not cool. In fact, as I sat down and started listing all the people and activities I had flaked out on that week, the list was chringingly long. Something's got to change.<br />
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I feel icky when I flake out, but most importantly, being a flake suggests that I don't actually care about the people I make plans with, that something else coming up, being tired or cold or hungry is enough for me to bail on the being who planned on me being there. "Flake" is just another word for "selfish." I remembe<a href="http://speeches.byu.edu/?act=viewitem&id=1814" target="_blank">r Sarah Westerberg's speech</a> about this years ago:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"Whether your commitments are in the form of promises, pledges,
covenants, callings, contracts, or your word of honor, they must be
kept. Whether they are commitments that are spiritual in nature, legal
contracts, or seemingly trivial temporal things, they must be kept."</blockquote>
<br />
She mentions 6 steps, which apply well to spiritual as well as temporal committment:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
1-Know your obligations<br />
2-Decide to commit to them<br />
3-Follow the Master<br />
4-Set realistic goals<br />
5-Anticipate opposition<br />
6-Reap rewards</blockquote>
Okay, so depending on your willingness to think WWJD in your temporal commitments, #3 might not feel as applicable, but I think this is a very wise list. Mostly, I think I have problems with #1, 4 and 5. I often forget who I promised what to, and then I over-saddle myself with too many obligations and double-book myself and then I don't have ANY time when something unexpected comes up, like being hungry or cold or whatever. This last week I left my phone up in the canyon and had to disappoint 3 friends. I came home hungry and chilly and canceled another event. I double-booked myself Saturday afternoon because I thought I could "swing by" a game night and never did. Many, and varied, are my sins of flakiness.<br />
<br />
But they say that the first step is recognition. If I can identify what is temping me to flake out--being underprepared or overbooked or forgetful--then I can make adjustments like not planning so much, like being better prepared, like planning for potential difficulties.<br />
<br />
But even though those are the things that cause me to flake out, I think today starts with #2: I want to commit to being a more committed person. Beth Allen told me that change doesn't have to start when the results are in, but when the decision is made. I'm going to make this decision: I'm going to keep my commitments. Maybe I won't be perfect, maybe I'll have some regression or setbacks, but I want to be a committed person, someone my friends can count on, because I <i>do</i> care about them, and I'm old enough to show them my commitment to <i>them.</i><br />
<br />
<br />
I hope I don't flake out.<br />
mlhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06897457666469917298noreply@blogger.com0